tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post8685807316554132116..comments2023-10-29T04:29:29.607-07:00Comments on Pieces of Me: Mama DramaP.O.M.http://www.blogger.com/profile/16410533843419723414noreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-78989950107512766542008-05-15T09:50:00.000-07:002008-05-15T09:50:00.000-07:00people will only take advice and listen to certain...people will only take advice and listen to certain people. this is a weird comparison, but last night i was watching gossip girl, and it said that 15 year old girls only care about the 4 G's - girlfriends, guys, and gossip girl. <BR/><BR/>i know my mom doesn't take my diet or fitness advice, but that's probably because she feels she knows better than i do. and diets were different in our mom's day. my mom thinks a muffin a day is a good way to lose weight... it's unfortunate but there really isn't much you can do. if your mom has a weight problem - i'm sure she is painfully aware of it already.eurydicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00715483493820879512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-19198290219143276502008-05-15T08:51:00.000-07:002008-05-15T08:51:00.000-07:00I'm sorry to hear that. But you're right- it has ...I'm sorry to hear that. But you're right- it has to be her choice and she has to want it.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18285850895862247408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-10389069990544647132008-05-15T08:27:00.000-07:002008-05-15T08:27:00.000-07:00It's hard when you can't control a situation you k...It's hard when you can't control a situation you know you could fix with just a few changes. I don't know what to tell you except that she has to want to change, but you already know that. Maybe one day she will change her mind.Judihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17659061902462311046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-31315531875301010302008-05-15T01:53:00.000-07:002008-05-15T01:53:00.000-07:00Concrad whith jour half marathon time!!!!!!And goo...Concrad whith jour half marathon time!!!!!!<BR/>And goodluck whit your Mother and i have no advice and i hope she be happy whit her live!.<BR/>Groet Rinus.<BR/>http://rinusrunning.punt.nl/?home=1rinusrunninghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04136035056514318242noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-36334956897714082702008-05-14T20:28:00.000-07:002008-05-14T20:28:00.000-07:00I can SOOO relate. I have the same discussions wi...I can SOOO relate. I have the same discussions with my mom. She lives in denial and it drives me C.R.A.Z.Y.Daniellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05148048808697161710noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-3875070581572644902008-05-14T18:43:00.000-07:002008-05-14T18:43:00.000-07:00POM - Would you believe I teach motivational inter...POM - Would you believe I teach motivational interviewing to physicians and others who are trying to get people to do exactly what they do not want to do? I've often thought I should do a post on motivation from a scientific perspective. <BR/><BR/>She does have to want to do it for herself, but there may be some things that you can help her with, mainly to find out what is important to her. It can actually help sometimes if there are actual known health risks as this can scare the person into thinking more about what does their 5 year or 10 year time frame look like. You need to figure out what her hook is, what is important to her. She may not even think about life this way -- many people do not-- so getting her to start thinking about what is important is a step. Pls feel free to email me if you'd like to talk about this more.<BR/><BR/>Best of luck, Honey. I know how much this eats at you. After all you even told me that PF Chang was evil. :DNancyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14684236668997938263noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-53229498409600785772008-05-14T18:40:00.000-07:002008-05-14T18:40:00.000-07:00That is definitely a tough situation. My mom has t...That is definitely a tough situation. My mom has trouble with losing weight now, even though at my age she was about 20lbs less and 3 inches taller. She complains about gaining weight but then never does anything about it. She thinks one day of working out will solve it. Oh well, I guess we can just lead by example right? When they finally want it they know exactly who to go to to help them.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11316331427936427121noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-35801840149963750162008-05-14T18:13:00.000-07:002008-05-14T18:13:00.000-07:00I'm so sorry. I can't offer much advice, but I can...I'm so sorry. I can't offer much advice, but I can (kind of) relate. My mom is healthy, but she barely eats.. which I know can be really hard on her body. Especially when we are so health-conscious, it is so hard to see our parents not doing the best for themselves.healthy ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07314694552580228900noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-48255922275397489972008-05-14T18:10:00.000-07:002008-05-14T18:10:00.000-07:00I can totally relate...it is so frustrating to wan...I can totally relate...it is so frustrating to want success for others but if they don't want it, you really have to just be that example and hope someday they will. My mom is now pre-diabetic and I'm trying to get her to be serious about her diet, yet I'm still catching her eating a chocolate here and there...you just can't buy that motivation for someone unfortunately, it has to come from within....Kelly Olexahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17831405527385476916noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-62657428397654297662008-05-14T16:47:00.000-07:002008-05-14T16:47:00.000-07:00POMI feel like I know exactly where you're coming ...POM<BR/>I feel like I know exactly where you're coming from. My mom was hospitalized at the beginning of the year for suicidal behaviour (I've never said that outloud before), is very heavy and has just recentely discovered there are problems with her heart. She has been on several weight loss pills and had her stomach stapled, all of which have backfired and caused her to become sicker.<BR/>She, however has never been an active person and up until about 2 years ago I wasn't really athletic either, it was just a way of life<BR/>Unfortunatley, I live with her, and even asking her to walk the dog with me or go for a walk around the block a couple of times she denies it saying she's too tired or sore or whatever other excuse she can come up with, and it's sooo frustrating!<BR/>I know where your coming from. You can try and intervene and unless she really wants to change, you can't help her, and it sucks cause you don't want her to go into that downward spiral again. It sucks cause you wish you could help.<BR/><BR/>Hang in there! Try and stay positive *(Much easier said than done) and be there to help her if she needs it . Hopefully she'll realize it that she'll feel better with the exercise.<BR/><BR/>((Hugs))AddictedToEndorphinshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08289165436547387984noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-83627657890139393262008-05-14T16:37:00.000-07:002008-05-14T16:37:00.000-07:00You should all plan a really healthy "spa" weekend...You should all plan a really healthy "spa" weekend (aka mini-intervention- full of healthy food & exercise?? Maybe a few days of that might be a good kick-start??My Lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05773926028026104968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-34809504147627140702008-05-14T15:50:00.000-07:002008-05-14T15:50:00.000-07:00I know what you mean, it is hard to see people str...I know what you mean, it is hard to see people struggle with weight and the related issues (physical and mental) when you know the benefits of exercise. It is a feeling of helplessness and frusteration. But beyond being a positive example, and maybe occasionally reminding them that you will help if they want, there is really nothing you can do. In my opinion, you should start focusing on loving them the way they are and finding things to enjoy together. I think sometimes they can feel the judgement and it really doesn't help their self-esteem. Of course, I don't know your situation, I'm just speaking in general and from experience. :)jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14598678568089992654noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-42174848114519511412008-05-14T15:30:00.000-07:002008-05-14T15:30:00.000-07:00I agree with most . Motivation has to come from w...I agree with most . Motivation has to come from within. Hang in there and try to stay positive!Razzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09880194141653654794noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-67623524816247942672008-05-14T15:18:00.000-07:002008-05-14T15:18:00.000-07:00First off I have to agree with you that blogging i...First off I have to agree with you that blogging is a definite motivator. If I didn't spend the time to write down everything that motivates me, it would fly over my head un-noticed. <BR/><BR/>As for motivating your mom, thats a tricky one. It sounds like she has tried all the 'quick fixes' only to lose herself even more. I think you have already found the answer you are looking for. She has to want it... bad enough that she will work hard for it. <BR/><BR/>You are showing her what the good life has to offer... keep positive with her and maybe she will come around. <BR/><BR/>I think weight can be like any other addiction... you have to hit bottom before you see the error of your ways. A reality check we all had to deal with before starting this journey. <BR/><BR/>Keep doing what your doing, and leave yourself open to her so that when she does need help you will be waiting for her.Tigerlillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15652766012223389403noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-69187959930273665392008-05-14T14:02:00.000-07:002008-05-14T14:02:00.000-07:00We could show her a picture of my mother, "Skeleto...We could show her a picture of my mother, "Skeletor" and...wait. That would have the reverse effect, i.e. making having a few extra pounds look GOOD.Charmainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17949679256019432906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-34988258777342268382008-05-14T13:43:00.000-07:002008-05-14T13:43:00.000-07:00Sorry about your mom. I was in a similar postitio...Sorry about your mom. I was in a similar postition with mine. Then she was diagnosed with diabetes, and that got her butt in gear. She has now lost about 65 pounds and looks and feels great. But before she was diagnosed, she just wasn't motivated to do it.<BR/><BR/>It amazes me how many people think there is some magic pill. My mom and I get asked all the time, "what are you doing?" in reference to our weight loss. They always seem so disappointed when we tell them, "eating healthy and exercising."Robinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10443312525591908741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-20309209220519028792008-05-14T13:21:00.000-07:002008-05-14T13:21:00.000-07:00Well My darling Niece.. and I do mean DARLING. Mis...Well My darling Niece.. and I do mean DARLING. Miss Mom has been in this spiral for a decade if not more, a liitle bit of confidence goes miles, so maybe instead of chatting health and fitness, try to boost her another way, and hopefully the rest she will want to do. Building even more confidence... I used to be that way. fat and unhappy... but look what you have done for me..<BR/><BR/>Love you babyAuntie Jhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05469894513562250060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-12367940577865794282008-05-14T13:14:00.000-07:002008-05-14T13:14:00.000-07:00I know how you feel. I have a family member in the...I know how you feel. I have a family member in the same type of situation. I have tried to motivate her in various ways, but bottom line, if the person doesn't want to do it (for whatever reason, fear, no confidence, etc.) they won't. Sometimes, figuring out why a person doesn't want to or why they are afraid to try is the key. <BR/><BR/>All I can tell you is to stay supportive and positive. I am not sure how often you visit your mom or she visits you, but when you do see each other maybe you can incorporate exercising.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-74678713401392433602008-05-14T13:07:00.000-07:002008-05-14T13:07:00.000-07:00My entire family is like that, there’s not a lot y...My entire family is like that, there’s not a lot you can do. You would hope that they would see the results of your hard work but it doesn’t always work like that. Like the old saying, ‘you can lead a horse to water, but it will eat the hay’.TNTcoach Kenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02022683408145528060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-63913860212435246342008-05-14T12:36:00.000-07:002008-05-14T12:36:00.000-07:00I love that you said "she has to want to change fo...I love that you said "she has to want to change for herself." It's so true. There is a definite difference between being there and inspiring and completely alienating loved ones just for cutting life against the grain.<BR/><BR/>Keep your positivity flowing, eventually it becomes infectious.chiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08894616877610664580noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-22302964535437646582008-05-14T12:31:00.000-07:002008-05-14T12:31:00.000-07:00Do you know any of her close friends? Could you as...Do you know any of her close friends? Could you ask one of them to invite your mom to do something active? It could be even something simple like a weekly walk along the beach. It might be easier if it were coming from someone outside of the family and included being social.Lauriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04300945096399594946noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-72776024334688110722008-05-14T12:20:00.000-07:002008-05-14T12:20:00.000-07:00They should have counselor's that take you for a w...They should have counselor's that take you for a walk...that way you have someone to talk to, and get some good exercise endorphins going too. <BR/><BR/>When someone is in that cycle it is so hard to break it, but all you can do is try to be supportive and it sounds like you are definately giving positive support. Hopefully, it will click at some point.Shelleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17003901809816038543noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-14781139468141403622008-05-14T11:51:00.000-07:002008-05-14T11:51:00.000-07:00I agree with Anthony. There is really only so muc...I agree with Anthony. There is really only so much you can do and it's even harder when that person is depressed. Maybe she needs to see a counselor first? If you're not feeling well mentally, you just don't have it in you to do physical things, KWIM?Marcyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14148093449696230770noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-18232609746369392242008-05-14T11:46:00.000-07:002008-05-14T11:46:00.000-07:00Without going into details, I can definitely relat...Without going into details, I can definitely relate... who knows, maybe you inspired your mom at your half! I've invited my family to two of my marathons and both my dad and my bro seem interested in the 5K as a result of that. I recently walked a Disney 5K with my sis and now she seems to be hooked. We're looking into getting her some proper shoes now! Sometimes it takes a medical scare to get people into action - my bro actually got into working out and eating better when he was diagnosed with diabetes. Also, does your mom watch TV? I think shows like The Biggest Loser and Celebrity Fit Club are both motivating as well as educational on how to live a healthy lifestyle.audgepodgehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07589920897176813735noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5417535823506217209.post-32022072264527239412008-05-14T11:44:00.000-07:002008-05-14T11:44:00.000-07:00It is a vicious cycle the depression and weight ga...It is a vicious cycle the depression and weight gain. My sister is going through somthing similar. We tried doing like a family WL fit club kind of thing and that morivated her. We are doing it again and she said she does not want in. I am trying with her and it is working somewhat. I am sure you know you have to want it for yourself. That is the harderst part in my opinion. Although, If she with keeps staying depressed I might send her towards a pill or two.<BR/><BR/>Best wishes with influencing her the right direction. I know it must be hard for you.Vivhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01275505112098052230noreply@blogger.com