Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Running on Anxiety

Self-Sabotaging or Anxiety?

You tell me.

Remember when I used to wake up before work and run? Well I did.

I have been trying my best to get back into that cycle (although with my travel schedule it's been a challenge). But when I'm home, I PLAN on waking up early to run. Here is the routine:
  • I drink lots of water, eat healthy dinner and go bed early
  • I lay in bed and think of stupid things
  • I start to worry that I won't fall asleep
  • I don't fall asleep so I start to worry more about not getting enough rest
  • Then I worry that I'm worrying and causing this whole thing (I must be crazy)
  • My heart starts beating fast and I don't fall asleep
  • I stare at the clock until 2am
  • I drift off and have a nightmare
  • Nightmare wakes me up at 3:30 am
  • I lean over and turn off my alarm because there is no way of waking up to run in 2 hrs

This is not a rare occurrence. Neither is the nightmare thing, but that's a blog for another day.

Hence the reason I'm only running on the weekends. I don't stress about what time I fall asleep and I don't stress about when I need to wake up.

I really don't know what to do about it.

20 comments:

Erika said...

I sometimes have that same problem, and often when I do get to sleep, one of my kiddos wakes me up! My friend told me and it's worked the past few nights, but when you are laying there, seriously think about nothing but laying completely still!! The last 4 nights I've been able to lay down, do that and pass out cold!
Hope you find something that works for you soon!

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Oy vey, I went through this before I changed job a month back. I try not to look at the clock because then I will think, 'holy crap it's *insert ridiculous time* and I haven't fallen asleep yet.

I hope the bad dreams go away & you are able to sleep more easily very soon. That def wears on a person very, very quickly!

Christine said...

Sounds like me before I went into labor...its a sucky cycle to keep going through. Maybe try going for a little run at night..and taking the pressure off yourself to get up in the morning. You can say..."well..i got some miles in tonight..so if i dont make it in the morning..its ok" Let me know if it works

Carolina John said...

yesterday I got upset because I realized it was 6:30 pm, and in only 12 hours I would have to get up so I could go back to work. It just did not seem fair.

TinaGirl said...

I feel the same way. For me its the fear that i'll start running (or doing kettlebells) and get hurt again. I'm so afraid of failure that it is holdi g me back in so many other areas.

X-Country2 said...

Nightmares? That sounds scary. Poor thing. I hope this passes.

s1n said...

You could just run in the evening and stop worrying about this morning nonsense.

Susan said...

I have the exact same issue! (minus the nightmares)

Kathleen said...

Sleep stress is the WORST. Can't stand it, so I haven't been able to run in the mornings either. Annoying because my evening runs are LAME!

Amanda - RunToTheFinish said...

yeah when I am worried I won't wake up on time, then i just don't sleep. Maybe you are putting too much emphasis on the time you need to get up during the week...

either way, who cares if you are enjoying the runs you do take

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doctorval said...

Then run after work, just tell yourself that's the way it's going to be. And honey, you so don't want to know about my nightmares. They're like John Connor meets Poltergeist.

Glam said...

I remember that girl! Maybe it would help to remember what motivated you to be that person? She was full of self-motivation and determination. Going to bed early to get up early for those great runs.
You've had a lot going on this past year - buying a condo, relationship stuff, new job, bridesmaid dress drama. Maybe once the dust settles you'll be back in that Portland Marathon state of mind.

As for the sleeping... could you try some yoga or meditation before bed? I'm now addicted to white noise. I have an hour of it loaded onto my ipod and play it at a moderately loud level. I'm almost always asleep before it runs out.

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Christie said...

Maybe chamomile tea before bed will help. Good luck. I hope you're doing better.

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adventure grrl said...

I just saw a sweet comment from you on my blog and I wanted to let you know I am back to blogging on 100 days in Bed. I hope you are great!

PS, your blog looks fabulous!

PPS: Be gentle with yourself - it will all be okay. Hope ur back on track with the running

Charmaine said...

Can you say, "Tylenol P.M.?"

Oh Lord, the chinese have found you again...