Friday, February 27, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
- POM spends so much money on make up yet she looks like a greasy mess here.
- Big Girl Niece is wearing her "Swimming Puppy" goggles.
- The dirty diaper* in the left corner (not for Big Girl Niece - she is 3 and has been P.T. for a year.)
- The one that takes the cake.... DOG THE BOUNTY HUNTER on in the background.
Yeah, so what? I watch THE DOG. And I watch it with kids around**? What?
I love when he speaks Pigeon, even though he's from Colorado. I love Beth and those boobs and her hair and her make up and her nails. I love how they hate everyone before they catch them, then they end up all buddy-buddy. I love trying to figure out how many damn kids he has! He is just pure awesomeness.
*I can't believe how many damn poopy diapers I had to change in such a short amount of time. How on earth do you moms do it???
**Actually, I probably only watched it for 2 mins then got talked in to watching Care Bears for the millionth time.
Back to the X-Files.
Matt #2 is not really worth mentioning, but I will. I met him at a work event. I was planning a huge meeting for a very large company. The meeting kept growing and before you know it I am the "producer" of this 'show.' Mind you, I'm an event planner, not a producer. We only had 3 days to finalize all the show details - we worked 8am to midnight each day. There was a lot blood, sweat, tears and curse words (on my part) but with the help of Matt #2, we somehow pulled off this fantastic meeting/show. Honestly I could not have done it without him.
We were instantly attracted -maybe that is why he went so overboard to help me. He was tall, dark and kinda cute. And his take-charge attitude is what attracted me to him. A date was set up for the next weekend with the help of Spicy Latina coworker. We dated for a while, he took me to a lame restaurant in a strip mall, he wrote a song for me, made me dinners, etc.
Funny side note - this was right when I just started to lose weight. He wanted to order pizza one night and I objected. This was our first little tiff. He said I didn't know how to enjoy life because I didn't eat pizza. What the hell does that mean? Now it's an inside joke with my friends whenever we want pizza - we say "Let's go enjoy life."
I found out is was a lot YOUNGER than me. Not good in my book. I had a hard time getting over that. I also found out that he was separated -divorce not even filed yet. And that he's only had sex with ONE person, his ex-wife. I'm sorry, but I don't feel like being a "teacher" in that department, if ya know what I mean.
It ended one night when I drank WAY too much and sorta flipped out on him. I don't know what that was about. I think I just figured that it wasn't going anywhere. So I'm sure he has a story about the slutty, crazy, drunk girl that he dated after his divorce. We're "friends" now and he moved away.
I'm saving the best for last - Matt #3. Stay tuned.
Monday, February 23, 2009
On to more exciting topics. Several of you want to hear more X-Files, so here'z it:
I was at a bar with girlfriend on a Sunday afternoon in the summer of 2006. He saw me from across the bar, walked right over and said, "I want to buy you a drink. I'm leaving with my friends, but give your number." My friend rolled her eyes and gave me a look like "don't even think about it." But there was some weird manly thing about him, so I just did what he said and gave him my number. He was not good looking, but he was tall, strong and extremely confident.
He called me the next day asking me on a date. I didn't want to be stuck in any situation with him so I suggested that we go hit some golf balls on our lunch break. (Great idea, by the way!) The date went OK, it was only an hour and we had fun. So I agreed to see him again.
This time he wanted to take me to dinner. He picked me up in his p.o.s. truck. I don't mean to sound superficial, but this guy was about 10 yrs older than me. He should have a decent car by now (Red Flag #1).
On our second date to a restaurant I noticed Red Flag #2 - road rage. Not normal, muttering under one's breath while driving. No, he had full on road rage. The drive to the restaurant was seriously only 5 mins from my house. He was yelling at everyone, cursing, cutting people off, basically driving like a total maniac. I felt uncomfortable to say the least.
Red Flag #3 - The Dinner
He takes me to Joe's Crab Shack. I'm sorry, is this supposed to be romantic or even fun? No, it was gross. Gross food, kids everywhere, birthday songs being sung, cheap wine. Then he acted like he was spending all this money on me. It was weird. If money was an issue, at least take me to some cool, local hole in the wall as opposed to this creepy tourist trap.
But I continued to date him through the summer.
Red Flag #4 - The Sleep Over.
He invited me to his "house." I use that word lightly. I arrive to his "house" (remember he is in his 40s) to find that he lives above his brother's garage. Seriously. I stuck around. Hey, he was good for some things....
There were so many other anger, rage issues that came up. The way he spoke to people (including me), the way he seemed to always be the "victim" or always had "bad luck." Little baby red flags popped up everywhere. It kind of became a running joke in my office. I always had a great story about something that he said or did. I knew I wasn't in love with the guy, there was not an emotional connection for me, at all.
Red flag #5 - The Deal Breaker.
It was a Saturday afternoon. We decided to go to Costco. As any Costco shopper knows, Costco is crazy on the weekends. You just plan for it and deal with it. Mr. Road Rage was a flippin' nightmare in the parking lot. I thought he might really go to blows over the stupidest things. We sat in the car and I told him I was over his outbursts and that it made me uncomfortable. He didn't apologize.
We cram into Costco, grab a cart and start walking through the aisles. There was a little cart-traffic jam and a VERY elderly woman in front of us stopped her cart. M1 swung the cart around, SLAMMED our cart into hers and said "Watch it, you F*$king B*&ch!" And he stormed off.
To an old lady!
I turned bright red and faced her.
I said, "I'm so sorry ma'am" and walked away, mortified.
I walked right over to him and said, "Take me home right now."
He looked at me like I was an alien and said, "Why? What's wrong now?"
He didn't even realize he had done something completely inappropriate.
Needless to say, I left right when we got back and never answered his calls again. He called my cell, my work, my home. He even did a few "stop overs" at my house, but luckily I was never home (he left notes).
That is the story of M1 - Mr. Anger Issues.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
So let's review - POM history X.
X-1. We dated when we were very young, but dated for 5 years. I was dev-a-stated when we broke up. I'm sure my girls (hi kris) are rolling their eyes right now. Like I said, we were young but we went through a lot of bad family crap together and were very close. I moved away after the break up (looking back this is the BEST thing that happened to me but you never see that at the time). We didn't talk for a year. Then we tried to reconnect, but at this time another woman and a baby were involved. It didn't work. About 5 years after that, we reconnected again. But this time I was over him and we were able to be friends. We had a few dinners. He even came to stay with me (platonic) one weekend. To this day, I would consider him a friend. We don't talk, but it wouldn't be awkward if we saw each other. He invited me to his wedding, but I declined.
X2. Ok, honestly X2 is about 15 guys over the next 10 years. They all sort of blend together. We would date for about 3 months, then call it quits for whatever reason. Man, I have some good stories about these guys - but I'll save it for another post. But I can say that I am on friendly terms with most of them. SIDENOTE: There are 2 that I would never, ever want to see again. I dated 3 Matts in a row. Only Matt 2 was nice -we're still friends. I will blog about Matt 1 and 3 another time. It's some gooooood shiz. Back to what I was saying, I am friends with them. They are on my facebook. We occasionally meet for a drink or chat via some form of el communicado.
X3. The boyfriend before the Captain was J1. (Hi J1 - he reads sometimes). We dated for a while. Then broke up, but stayed friends. Like active friends. We texted, IM'd, emailed. He got another girlfriend and we even managed to stay friends through that. They broke up and we started hanging out again. It ended kinda ugly with me throwing a drink in his face at a bar (Sorry J1 - you really pissed me off that day). But we talked after and made up as FRIENDS. We're still cool to this day. I might even call him if I was in some type of pinch - and he could do the same with me.
So that brings us to the Captain. We've broken up so many times, but we always continue to talk (once again, I'm sure my girls are rolling their eyes). I don't see how we can NOT be friends. We both really care about each other. Just because we don't have a future and he won't be my baby-daddy doesn't mean that I can throw away the friendship part of the relationship that we have developed. I know I need time to get over the hurt part. But I am already over the going back and forth part. He is still my go-to guy. He fixes things on my car and I do laundry at his house. He brings me fish and I bring him ice cream. That's what friends do, right? I know problems will arise (like the first time we broke up) when I start dating other people. He will freak out, but that's his issue to work through.
What do you think? Friends with exes: Excellent or Excrement?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
So looking at the greener side, I thought I would list all the manure that makes my lawn so verdant and lush.
Good things about being single:
- One can watch Sex & The City Season 1 and 2 in one sitting without complaints.
- One remembers to floss her teeth nightly.
- One is able to use all the expensive products that she only keeps at her house.
- One can eat yogurt for dinner.
- One can wear ugly blue fuzzy jammers, pink slippers and green socks with her hair in a scrunchy from high school with no shame.
- One doesn't have to do other people's dishes.
- One can read in peace without some stupid sports game going on in the background.
- One's toothpaste is neatly put away without crap all over the counter.
- One does not have whiskers in her sink.
- When one purchases a treat for herself, it is still in the fridge when she gets home.
That's all I can think of for now. But I know you have some manure to share - why is your grass greener?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Thank you all for the uplifting words over the weekend. Here's how it all panned out.
Friday - I made a little oopsy. I met some friends at our local watering hole where I bumped into the Captain. I know, I know. But a girl has needs.
So I decided to start over on Saturday. I went for a little run to test the waters. The first mile was fantastic. But about 1.2 miles in, the pain in my calf came back so I turned around. Luckily I had movie plans with my bestie so that took my mind of off the failed run. We saw "He's Just Not That Into You. Quite apropos given the current situation. ha ha.
I did a lot of reading - finished "The Hour I First Believed" by Wally Lamb. I liked it, but I didn't connect with it as I have with his other 2 novels.
And the best part of the weekend is that I got my booty back to Bikram! I went 2 days. My body feels awesome. Tight and a little sore, but a good sore. Just going to class makes me feel like I've accomplished something. I need that feeling right now. I also tried to get a spin class in, but the ones at 24 Hour Fitness are annoying and always booked. I am looking into this spin club that I used to go to, just need to get a new schedule and change the clippy things on my shoes cuz they have different pedals or whatever.
So overall, it was a good relaxing weekend. I can say that I definately felt the "being single" lonliness, but I know once I get back into the swing of things, I'll be ok with that.
Oh, last thing, there was ONE spotting of the hot neighbor, but just waves from afar were had.
That is all.
Monday, February 9, 2009
But my girls???? My girls go to
BATHING SUIT PARTIES!
A friend of a friend is a bathing suit designer. Check out her website. She had us all over to check out her line, try on stuff and find a bathing suit that best 'suits' your body.
I love love love bathing suits so you could imagine how freakin' excited I was about this.
There were about 15 girls there and before you know it clothes are flying and we're all having a blast. I ended up with 2 suits and seriously want to go back. The designer Nichole and her girls are soooooooooooooooo fun and sweet. She made you feel totally comfortable and the entire experience so fun. I can't wait to see her new collection coming out soon.
This is one of the suits I got. I can't wait for Costa Rica next month, then Mexico in April so I can show off my new suits. Start thinking about bathing suit season now girls. It will be here before you know it!
And you better believe that the second I left the house, I went STRAIGHT to the gym (and then tanning).
In other news, I decided NOT to out with the Smarmy guy. He's too borderline stalker-ish. He called me Fri, but I didn't anwer. Then he texted me asking when I was available. I didn't respond. Then he texted me about 3 hours later saying he was busy all weekend. Sure you are dude. Sure you are.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Want to die.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
I got dropped off and met with Miss Chic Runner. We lined up with the fasties, cuz she seriously hauls butt. Right when we started, the doubt and pain kicked in. What the HIZ-ELL was I thinking? I mean mile 1, I already had doubts. I told Chic Runner to just go on without me.
I knew this would be a long battle ahead. I tried as hard as I could to keep the negativies away. You know the negativies? Those little green monsters that sit on your shoulders and tell you that you can't do things. I tried everything: blasted my special playlist, sang out loud, looked for hot boys (there were a few for sure!) and even prayed my heart out.
This was the hardest race I have ever run. I felt like I was having a bad acid trip the entire time (not that I would know). My leg hurt, the negativies were eating my brain and time was not moving.
Somehow I pushed through. I wasn't happy with my pace, but I tried to keep it under 9 and just be happy if it stayed under 9. I kept thinking, only 30 mins of running - I can do anything for 30 mins. Only 20 more mins of running - I can do this. Finally my Garmin said 13.1, but I still had about .3 more. I must have swayed like the drunkard I am.
Then finally - it was over!!!! I limped to beer tent and had came out double-fisted. Thank you sweet little baby Jesus for getting me thru this race.
- Drinking is not training.
- Running injured is not smart.
- I can do anything I put my mind to.
PS: I pr'd this race by 7 mins from last year!!!!!
PPS: Pokey & Viv came down and took some fun pics - hopefully we'll see those soon. Go read their reports :)