Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Always on My Mind


I'm meeting a girlfriend out for dinner tonight and I know a conversation like this will happen. How do I know? Because it ALWAYS happens when I'm eating with someone:
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Friend: What are you gonna order?
Me: Well, I'll probably have fish & veggies. Skip the bread.
Friend: Oh, come on. Live a little. You look FINE, why are you still dieting?
Me: Shut the fuck up and mind your own fat ass.
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Ok, I wouldn't really say that that sentence... or would I? muuuahhhhh
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The thing is that eating healthy and LITE is part of my life now and it's a continuous effort at every meal. It's not "dieting." Being healthy and thin takes planning and making conscious decisions about what goes into your mouth (and therefore on to your ass). I don't think I will EVER get to a point where I just eat whatever I want. That's how I ended up getting to my highest weight in the first place.
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The second I stop thinking about it, the weight creeps back. A prime example is marathon training. I wasn't thinking about how much I was eating because I was always freakin' hungry. I stuck to healthy items, but just ate more of them. Twelve pounds managed to find their way back to my stomach in a matter of about 3 months. You know how damn long it takes to get that 12 pounds off? Crap - I'm still working on it.
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My point is that it's always on my mind. But making healthy decisions starts to come naturally and portion control becomes easier with time. Now I actually CRAVE healthy food. And eating poorly makes me feel physically sick. However, I still have to always think about it.
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So anyone out there dealing with this, too - don't fret. The more you start to feel better and like what you see in the mirror, the easier it becomes. I promise!
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Song of the Day: Always on My Mind by Elvis
**By the way - I downloaded a bunch of new songs last night! Stay tuned.

25 comments:

Jess said...

You're so much better than I.

My response would be: "The triple bacon cheeseburger with a side of lard for good measure. I need to insure the chub rub for running."

Well, maybe not that extreme, but I should be more conscious about what I order in restaurants.

RazZDoodle said...

Thanks for putting Always on My Mind in my head. What's worse is that I have the Willie Nelson version.

Sarah said...

I totally understand. I am ridiculed on a regular basis at work for my absolute refusal to attend the weekly outing to Friday buffet lunch.

I'm not going to publish some public announcement to my coworkers: "Listen guys, once upon a time I weighed 70lbs more and not going back there requires thought about every morsel of food I ingest."

So I just let them think I'm crazy!

marie said...

I enjoy the dieting comments far more than the disordered eating comments, although the latter provide me with the opportunity to invite them to come hold back my hair when they think i'm going to purge when i excuse myself to go potty.

Lori said...

The hardest meal for me is dinner at home. My kids are not so into the light eating idea. I can usually make healthy decisions at restaurants unless I just decide not to :P

P.O.M. said...

Marie - oh my gosh - I got "anorexic" comments when I lost all my weight the first time. It pissed me off becuase I was working sooooo hard to be HEALTHY and people think its funny to just throw that word out there.

ThickChick said...

I'm with you POM. The minute I let that 'eat whatever I want' mentality to creep into my thoughts, I weigh 180+ lbs. It has happened several times throughout of my life and at this point, I'm resigned to the fact that I can indulge once in awhile (though honestly, it should become less frequent!) but for the most part, I have to be diligent about healthy eating. I HAVE to.

Anyway, thanks for the reminder. After more chocolate consumption than I'd care to admit this week, I needed it!

Non-Runner Nancy said...

I'm with ya, Sista. Live a little got me exactly where I don't want to be. It's a lifestyle decision that gives me a better chance to live hopefully a lot more than a little. How's that??!!

Reluctant Runner said...

Hey POM! Your blog headline + Elvis = very funny ... especially in the context of food.

My sister is always implying that I worry too much about my weight and am an anorexic-waiting-to-happen. I am a size 10 and weigh 140 lbs -- pretty normal. All I do is try to pay attention so my weight doesn't creep up to where I'm uncomfortable. Drives me bananas.

Marcy said...

ITA with you. Once you get into the swing of things you know how much = how many cals, etc . . .

Heather said...

Amen woman!

Don't you love Eve's Tambourine? That song makes me ROCK on the treadmill. Like full out booty shakin!

Laura N said...

It burns my butt how people think skinny women can eat whatever they want. Why the heck do they think they are skinny? Because they don't eat like everyone else with fat asses. You stick to your guns. You look FINE because you don't eat that crap. Nothing, absoultely nothing wrong with that. And I am quickly learning during my recent "off the diet" weeks that unless I'm vigilent, my eating goes back to Fat Girl eating. I'm sure as hell not going back to being the Fat Girl. You are right--it's constant vigilence that makes a difference. It may suck, that it has to be constant, but life sucks that way sometimes. At least you can wear cute clothes and are a hottie.

jen said...

I can totally relate as well. I just now turned down lunch out with my coworkers since I packed a healthy lunch, so now not only am I a freak for eating healthy, but I am also a bitch for not joining them. :) Screw it! You're doing great- keep it up.

Viv said...

Pinky swear, me that it gets easier...I am still battaling, but working on it. Way to go on being healty!

the Bag Lady said...

Very inspirational, POM! The Bag Lady needs to smarten her (fat) ass up, and this was just the kick in the booty she needed.
Thanks!

RunnerGirl said...

I'm with Jess - you're a better woman than me. I am so bad at eating healthy when I'm out at dinner. Really need to improve on that this year!

Christine said...

Running has made me a ravenous pig. I think I will be able to relate to the 12 lbs thing in a few months..haha

Allison said...

Way to stay strong!! I am the same way - the instant that I let my guard down and stop paying attention to what I eat, my muffin top appears. Gah.

Allison said...

"The Big Daddy"? Glad you asked. I'm registering for it tonight at midnight. Grandma's Marathon - June 2008. Yikes!!

Jen said...

I think I'm over people criticizing my eating habits. I've been allowing myself to indulge infrequently, and that usually gets them off my back. Also, people are calling me "skinny" now, as if that's a compliment. I hate the word skinny. It sounds unhealthy. I guess we're all sensitive about something as the weight comes off...

Christie said...

Amen, sista!!

teacherwoman said...

It's definitely a change in your life. Some people just don't get that! But, I do think you can splurge sometimes.. you can't cut out ALL your favorite things!

katieo said...

Those comments can really drive you (me) nuts. I sometimes feel like they're saying it as some kind of reassurance for themselves, like, "I'm ordering crap, make me feel better about it!"

Cara said...

Luckily none of my friends say this kind of thing very often. And the people at my work just talk crap on you if you don't eat healthy. So weird because they are all farting and burping boys (while at work).

J~mom said...

That is a fantastic post!! My sister just asked me why I want to lose MORE weight? Sigh!