Monday, April 7, 2008

This Ship Has Sailed

Thank you Thank you and Thank you to Runner's Lounge for lots of reasons. First, Amy and Tom are really nice and cool people. For some reason, they like to read my blog and for some even stranger reason, they have told OTHERS to read my blog. Holy cow. I feel famous. They have a great website that you must check out if you run and if you don't run you will probably start after you check out their site. Everyone is really supportive over there - thanks for everything! And, I received an award for being an Active Lounger! Yippy for me. Very excited for my prize to come :) And this good news couldn't have come at a better time!

In other news, you might have noticed that I have been trying to be really positive in my blog as of late. Well, lemme tell ya - I'm a SHAM. A FRAUD. AN IMPOSTOR. I have been trying to be happy on the outside so maybe my insides will catch up. If you're a frequent and long-time reader, you might have also noticed the lack of mentioning the Captain lately. Well, the reason behind all this is that the Captain has decided to set sea for bluer waters. (Bluer - is that a word?)

I have been afraid to post this news because, well, it just makes it more real. Since I can barely process it myself, I have waited to share it here. I haven't even had the guts to tell some of my family members (sorry mom). Don't worry - my mom really doesn't read my blog. But I think it's time to let it out... let it go... let it fly. Maybe it will help me get over it.

Honestly I am devastated but I know I will be ok. Some days are really easy and some days I want to sleep under a rock all day. I won't get into the details, but he is an amazing person and I am happy for the time that we spent together. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't be too sympathetic with me, as I don't deal with sympathy well. But if you want to give any advice on how to get over things like this... I'm all ears.

For now, I'm keeping sane by focusing on my goals, running and keeping busy as much as possible. Sorry to be a Debbie-Downer today. I will sass it up again tomorrow. Hopefully (Crap now I feel pressure)!

Song of the Day: Keep Breathing by Ingrid Michealson

57 comments:

Cara said...

I am sorry to hear that you are down and have to go through this, but I know you can get through it. Heck you can run marathons, of course you can get over this ;-)

The best thing my friend did after her break up (her boyfriend moved out without telling her it was over...) was keep as busy as possible and distract herself with lots of friends.

And don't apologize for being a downer, we read your blog because we love to hear about you, so if you are down, we want to know so we can help (if possible).

Vanilla said...

Sounds to me like it's time to go visit a strip club... wait, do girls do that after a break up?

I'm trying not to be sympathetic, and also to not sound like a jerk. How'd I do?

Viv said...

You are not being a debbie downer at all. You are doing great. I am sure you have those times, but time makes things betta right?!

OK if we meet up in PR anything with rum is on me!!

Non-Runner Nancy said...

Damn it. I knew it. Or I had a feeling anyway. Can we shack up now? I'll just be silly cuz I'm the absolute last person you want advice from, believe me. I know you found it really hard to diet with him cooking all the time. This is your chance to be really good and get even more gorgeous than you already are. :D Hugs, Babe.

Laura Brandon said...

you pretty much stopped mentioning him after you went to haiwaii (sp?), so i kinda figured. the only advice i have is to do what ingrid michaelson says... "all you can do is keep breathing."

jen said...

Thanks for sharing this, I know it wasn't easy. I don't blame you for being Debbie Downer for one day, but I look forward to Sassy, um, McSassenpants posting again tomorrow. I suggest a long run, followed by a good meal (with wine, if you'd like!) and some funny movies. (hug)

Charmaine said...

Let's have dinner on Thursday and look for "bluer" waters ourselves.

I'm gonna find you a millionaire!

Do you mind if he's like, 90?

K80K said...

I always found the best way to move on is to put all your energy into taking care of yourself. I have had some of the best workouts post relationships.

Crystal said...

Put your best foot forward and keep working on all your goals and aspirations. You are a strong, funny and exciting person and you will pull through this.

MissAllycat said...

Girl, this is NOT the time to give up wine!! :) Only kidding. You know that running will always keep you sane...so keep on keepin' on. Hugs!

Danielle said...

No sympathy here. I don't deal with sympathy well either. I like to be the "tough cookie", but we all have our moments. Hang in there.
Vanilla, we hit stripMALLS NOT stripCLUBS! ;)

D10 said...

Every relationship teaches us something about ourselves or about what we want from another person. Take some time for yourself and before you know it, another ship will dock. Thanks for sharing, I know it takes a lot to.

Brianna said...

I think bluer can be a word if you want it to be. :)

the gazelle said...

better to drown your sorrows in wine & running than ice cream and the ocean (for actual drowning).

I'm sorry about the hard. I hope it gets better soon.

Robin said...

Ok, I won't be sympathetic. Thanks for letting us know. Like PP have said, we read your blog because we want to know what is going on with you.

As far as advice...ummm, I love me some wine when I'm down. :) (That's probably not healthy, but whatever.)

Carly said...

Hang in there, and I think focusing on yourself and your goals is a fantastic idea.

Jen said...

Don't feel pressure to feel better quick. We care about you.

The Laminator said...

Okay, no sympathies from me because didn't even know you before all of this, but my suggestion is to take all the negative energies and burn it off in speed training. It not only makes you feel good, makes you look good too, and who knows you might bump into a fan (to see what I mean, read my latest post...) Take care.

Jodi said...

if you don't want sympathy let me say this: chocolate, wine, movies, the mall, running, and going out with your girlfriends!

Ovens2Betsy said...

Oh bummer, bummer, bummer. I actually was wondering after reading your April 1 post ("stopped by the Captains, had a chat"). Although I only know you from blogging, you impress me as someone who is very resilient and stays relatively upbeat. That's what makes you so charming!

runningtwig said...

Sorry that my first comment on your blog was a song about a captain!

I think a combo of all of the above advice is needed: strip club, long run, wine, meals, chocolate...

I hope tomorrow is a better, sassier day!

doctorval said...

I think you end with the strip club, not start, but I like how you think. After that suggestion, I've got nothin'

I'm sure bluer is a word. If not, as a chronic bastardizer of the English language, I have the power to make it so.

Sarah said...

Man, that blows. I'm the queen of breakups, but I still never have good advice - because there is none! The last time I had one of these days, I wrote a good riddance list (all the things you didn't like about the person / relationship). It was pretty helpful....eventually...when I was over it and ready to laugh. But I've never tried Vanilla's advice, and that could be entertaining as well I'm sure.

Kiki said...

I'll keep you in my thoughts, my mom always says, "Just do the next thing." It helps me focus on taking care what is really important. That and I buy a really expensive shoes....retail therapy!!!

katieo said...

(I had a feeling something was up...)

Here's my advice:
Don't drink.
Run.
Let yourself feel angry, sad, like crap, whatever, then stop.
Keep busy, rely on friends.
Run some more.

ANd just a reminder:
I wouldn't have even started running if you hadn't suggested a race. And now I have discovered the world of free therapy that is running- thanks to you. (seriously. the first two miles of my last run were in tears.) So think about 6 months or a year from now when the breakup will have been a turning point. ('"that's when I got really fast and also found the determination to lost those last 5 lbs" as opposed to, "that's when I really just let stuff go..." Not that you would, but it might help now to picture yourself then...

I don't think that made sense...but I'm going to leave it.)

HOly long comment. Hoping I wasn't at all sympathetic...

Mrs Furious said...

Holy Fucking Shit.
I had a bad feeling... damn it why do I have to be psychic!?

Speaking of which I have always found seeing a psychic to help... why? Because I'm crazy. Also because universally you'll get a positive reading and, even if it is all lies, it feels good for a little while.

We've all been there (well maybe not all of us... but most) and you'll make it through. And as horrible and low as these moments may be they won't be forever or for long.



P.S. The Captain is dead to me.

Laura N said...

If anyone can bounce back stronger, happier, more beautiful (if that's even possible =), and in the best place in her life ever, it's you. You've gotten a lot of good advice here, and I'll just add to let your friends in (including us here) and don't be afraid to experience the sadness of it all, before you move on. But then move on. Because you've got a fabulous life to live.

Heather said...

If you just got my email, you know that I'm obviously behind in reading today. I'm an ass.

I hope you're doing great, and I'm proud of you for keepin it real.

As for how to get over these things, there's no shortcut without fairly icky consequences. Just give yourself plenty of time to process and heal. Cry, sleep, walk around like zombie, decide to hate all men for the day. Just let yourself feel whatever comes up. OK?

Meg said...

Your last few posts seem to be in the right state of mind - focus on yourself, being the best person you can be, etc. You seem to be the type to be strong enough to know what's best for you.
I'm still so close to a breakup that I don't know if I have any helpful advice but I've found in the last weeks that the following are helpful: 1) relying on friends, no matter how difficult that is, 2) drinking a bunch :) 3) not contacting him/blocking yourself from contact, 4) bitching him out when necessary (even if contradictory of 3), 5) doing whatever makes you feel best (especially number 2)

J~Mom said...

Clearly it's time to shop. I suggest you get straight onto Ebay for something new and fun to hang in your house. After ebay I recommend Gap.com, Oldnavy.come and Piperlime.com for spring clothes and shoes. Then you need some accessories so head back to Ebay for a new coach purse, nah, skip ebay it might be fake go straight to Coach.com. Hmm...then you need a watch. That you can buy off of ebay.


Thinking of you. ((((HUGS))))

Run For Life said...

I was glad to see you on the active loungers list!

The most important thing I have to remember when dealing with breakups are to not dwell (on the good OR the bad) and to run a lot.

Petraruns said...

OK OK I'm itching to give you that virtual hug but I won't. No sympathy... But run and talk to your friends - and we're out here for you too?

I'm really biting my tongue (fingers on keyboard? whatever) here... No sage advice from grandma petra for you. Quick hug though - couldn't stop myself. Oh and Nietzsche - what doesn't kill you makes you stronger..

TriGirl Thea said...

Ok. I'm taking you at your word. No sympathy.

Just a suggestion that you listen to lots of loud rock/dance and you run, dance and sing it out of your system.

Its certain what I do.

Well that and lots of booze/swearing.

AnthonyP said...

Oh man. Hang in there !

See Zanne Run said...

ok, no sympathy here. just. keep. running!

Sarah said...

That really sucks. I think you're taking a great approach though, still running, still getting on with life. You're a really strong person and I think if you keep focused you'll make it through before you know it!

Maddy said...

I too had a feeling that something was up.

We've got your back - I always dealt with break-ups by running and then running some more and then, when i was done, I'd go for arun. It kept me sane until I was over it!

Hang in there girl!

Ali said...

We definitely have to go to Promises now ... they let you out in the afternoon to shop, that's when we can drink

Plus what better rebound guy than a hot celebrity rock star!

Marcy said...

I'm with Java on this one. It is CLEARLY time to shop! Shopping makes most things seem better ;-) (if just a little) and if you have a couple drinkys even better LOL

And don't ever EVER forget . . .you are one hot bitch ;-)

Jess said...

Do you want me to break his kneecaps? Cuz I own a baseball bat.

Kevin said...

Hang in there and keep running. And remember this: Its okay to be sad some days, and if you don't feel like getting out of bed some days, thats okay, too. A month from today, you'll feel much better than you do today.
Take care.

Glam said...

You'll get no sympathy from me, Missy. Okay, you will but I'll keep it to myself.

Having just survived a breakup from my fiance three months ago, I empathize with you (that's different from sympathy, so it doesn't count!)

I won't even attempt to rehash all the standard BS... What worked for me? Friendships, family and focusing on myself and becoming healthy and happy. Therapeutic blogging, adventurous exercise (hello, bootcamp, professional dance class, extreme hiking!)...

I would have to agree with Katie0 (I do this often; it's an epidemic...) - put down the bottle, grab your shoes and run your heart out. Let yourself wallow in pity, but only for a millisecond. Then slap some lipgloss on and put on that Chi-chi baring Puerto Rico dress!

And here's the part where I tell you that even though I don't "know" you, I do know that anyone crazy enough to give up a smart, funny hot mama such as yourself is quite possibly legally insane. Wait, was that sympathy? Crap.

RazZDoodle said...

i'm with Vanilla on this one. Maybe just he and I should go.

Keep you head up, stay focused, run, and drink to eccess.

the Bag Lady said...

Well, the Bag Lady is pretty late to the pity-party goin' on here. Her advice?
Take one entire evening to wallow. Put sad love songs on the stereo, loud! Get drunk, sing along, cry, scream, fall on the floor, lamenting your loss.
Then get back in the saddle, girl, 'cause you are fabulous, and the Captain really F*ucked UP!

Ashley said...

Hey gorgeous! First of i'll, i've been there and done that a few years ago. I think the number one thing to do is take this time and invest in yourself. Remember all those BLOG entries where you said, I ate thisb ecause he wanted to or this or that. Think of all the things you can do now and do them. Even if it means watching a movie he'd never watch or having cereal for dinner because well heck you want to do that. Rent Bridget Jones, take notes on how to be as much unlike her when it comes to making embarassing mistakes, and take light in the comedy and postitive sides:)..oh and keep running!

Randi said...

ouch, sucks, move on, his loss.

Advice? I really think that faking it on the outside until the insides catch up sometimes works. (after of course sufficient yelling and swearing and crying)

chirunner said...

The break-up only means that the right guy is still ahead. Be picky -- you'll be spending the rest of your life with him. Be patient -- he will come. Be yourself. Every relationship helps you become the person that your eventual mate falls madly in love with.

chirunner said...

The break-up only means that the right guy is still ahead. Be picky -- you'll be spending the rest of your life with him. Be patient -- he will come. Be yourself. Every relationship helps you become the person that your eventual mate falls madly in love with.

The 311 Boys Mom said...

OK, so I know an awesome Stripper. I don’t' KNOW him, know him. But he was my stripper for my Bachlorette party & he now lives in Chicago....owns the stripper company or something…

So Miss Travel (you probly have enough miles) I'll meet you there. :o) that’s some eye candy I would LOVE to see & you can wear the FLIRTY dress. He is sooooo SMOKIN hot !!!!

Sorry to hear about break up....all I have is sympathy when I’m not trying to be funny……sooooooo

Runner Leana said...

Sounds like you've been given a lot of great advice. I don't have too much to add, except go to Puerto Rico and look hot in those dresses you were showing off! I guess if I have one don't....I think post break up is generally a bad time to consider a new haircut. Those decisions I normally regret!

eurydice said...

the good thing about being a runner is that you can just run away from your problems ;o)

tri-dogmom said...

Ok. So I won't give ya all the sappy comment stuff.

How about train for an IRONMAN :-)

I hope you have a great week!

Haley said...

Having read everyone's comments, I think the answer is to get snockered on red wine, put on your running shoes, and sprint around the mall. It sounds like you have a huge supportive posse who'd love to join you -- sign me up, too!

Laura said...

Is there anything you like but the Captain doesn't? Anything you held back on? For example, if he doesn't like seafood and so you rarely went for seafood before, go for seafood with your friends. It'll show you that there ARE some positives. If you can't think of anything, head to a bar and flirt with lots of guys. I bet he wouldn't have liked it if you did that while you were dating.

I had a favorite shirt that my ex hated, so I rarely wore it when we were dating. A few weeks after we broke up, I wore it out, and felt great. It's nice to be able to reclaim little things like that.

Laura said...

Just realized Ashley already gave this advice, but it's still valid :) Sorry for being so slow to read/comment!

Mendy said...

I JUST now read your comment on my blog (I've been MIA for the last couple of days from blogs) and had to run over here to see what's going on.

For someone that's going through a lot right now, you don't sound like a debbie downer. You sound okay. I know you're going through some things with it, like you said - bad days - good days. But you still sound positive and all.

I agree with some of the others - wine, shopping, and wearing flirty clothes, and you can fo sho get away with that with your fit body, chica!

thinking of ya! Take good care of yourself and keep on working out. It helps our minds, spirits, and bodies!

Reluctant Runner said...

Dammit, I thought the Captain was trouble after he left Tennille. This just proves it!

Seriously, though, I'm just catching up on your blog and I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch. I won't express sympathy out loud ... honest ... but you seem like a person with a lot of inner resources and you probably won't need sympathy for long anyways.

Keep blogging. We need ya.