When I was apartment hunting, I spotted my current place and called the number to make an appointment. I went to check it out & meet the landlord after a tennis match (visual: hot little tennis outfit). I think that is the reason I got the place - honestly. I'm fine with that EXCEPT that my creepy landlord thought this gave him the window to BRING UP PLAYING TENNIS with me EVERY flippin' time I see him. (NO MO FO, I am NEVER going to play tennis with you so SHUT IT.)
Let me paint you a picture of him. He is creepy, he is at least 25 years my senior and he is creepy. Did I mention that he is creepy? At one point he was living in the main house (I live in a back house) and he would STOP BY a couple times a week. Why? There is NO need for him to STOP BY, especially after 9pm - which is the typical time that he does. The STOP BYs luckily ceased when he moved.
Well he's back. And I can't seem to shake him. I am extremely rude and uninviting when he STOPS BY. I freakin' hate it. 99% of the time I am in my jammies watching a movie or reading and it's my down time. I go to bed very early and don't want him stopping by. Ever.
Recently, my toilet decided to take up running. And even more recently, my walls decided to take up Bikram. There is water dripping out of my drywall. Yep, so I had to call the lurker. This gave him license for even more stop bys. Seriously, he stopped by 3 times to look at the problem. He has yet to fix it. I have towels soaking up the water from the walls and have to turn off the water at my toilet after every use. I feel like I live in the ghetto.
Here's a sample of the conversation we had last night at 9:30 pm.
Lurker: We really need to get you up to my Big Bear cabin.
Me: (silent with weird look on face)
Lurker: You can run up there. That will get you in shape.
ARGH. WTF?
#1. Who is this "we?" you speak of?
#2. I am in shape so shut the F up.
#3. There is no way in hell I would go anywhere with you, let alone a deserted cabin.
I wish I could move, but my rent is affordable (now I know why) and I live in a kick ass area.
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45 comments:
Eww. 9pm stop bys are totally unacceptable and you need to make that clear. Can you just not answer the door?
And partly because of your glowing face (and a gf prodding me from behind) I went and had my makeup done at Bare Escentuals. Amazing. I am such a convert now. Did you just get the starter kit or have you branched out to any of the other ones? Mmmm, love it.
Eek! Creepy McStalker!
Seriously, get some protection that is freaking scary stuff, bad vibes just reading about the creep...and your walls? you could have mold problems if your walls are oozing water. Can you call a plumber and have the landlord pay for it?
Sounds like he's the "quiet neighbor that keeps to himself. You know, kind of a loner type."
Next thing you know you've got a ball gag in your mouth and you're in the trunk of his car headed up to his Big Bear cabin which, may or may not be a euphemism.
I'm just sayin'
Eww, eww, eww.
There must be a polite, but stern way to tell him that he CANNOT stop by.
Nothing like feeling uncomforatble in your own house. Yuck.
Hey, you know what movie you should rent some night when it's dark and you're alone? Sliver, it's a terrible movie but it'll make you think...
Yikes.
My sophomore year of college, I did a winter break internship with a supervisor who was in his 60s. On Valentine's Day, he sent me a card inviting me up to his cabin in the mountains to see how beautiful the sun was reflecting off the snow.
I TOTALLY SYMPATHIZE.
As the Boy Wonder Robin would say: "Holy rude-creepy-obnoxious-stalker-guy, BATMAN!"
[And then Batman would reach into his utility belt and taze the creep].
OMG, be careful. You need to cut this off nicely. We don't need him flipping out on you. If you are too nice he takes it as invitation, too rude and he might freak out. Now I'm worried about you. God do I sound like a mom.
Gross. In my state, it's unlawful for a landlord to stop by without 24 hours notice. Well, I guess they make pepper spray for a reason.
ewwww...ewww... and totally stalkerish. I would be freaked out.
Come on, go to the cabin, I can see it now, tennis, running and Jason Vorhees!!! Run POM Run!
Um, yeah, that is a little Mr. Roperish. Except even more creepy. Invest in pepper spray.
Holy hell! You be careful. Creepy can turn into trouble in two seconds flat. Make sure you tell friends about this. Keep your cell phone ready and a baseball bat by the door for his visits. Never know when they may come in handy.
Take care.
My prior landlord was a real dick in similar capacity. Here was my approach...
1.) Informed my landlord, in writing (via a note on my apartment door), that due to religious purposes I require no interruptions from 8 p.m. to 8 a.m. every evening. Requested he respect my faith and apologized for any inconvenience. Impromptu pop-ins ceased at the threat of interrupting virgin sacrifices or ritual castrations.
2.) Every time he did stop in, I would proceed any conversation with "Oh, I'm sorry, I missed your phone call." After awhile he got the hint that I expected a courtesy call prior to his arrival.
3.) All invitations were responded to with a simple "I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, but I'm involved and do not think that would be very appropriate." despite the fact I hadn't been laid since the Clinton administration. Or, my personal favourite... "I'll have to check with my parole officer (and/or therapist) before considering that."
Best of luck POM - many safe wishes!!!
Wow, what a creep! He's probably harmless, but definitely let him know that you expect to be notified before he just 'pops in'.
And, be careful with this creep!
Is not answering the door possible. Pretend you're asleep...or answer the door while on the phone and tell him you're tied up.
ew what a total sicko... the pervy thoughts are the worst. i had a landlord who wouldn't leave me alone but he was more the nagging-mother type, as opposed to creepy perv type.
and really there isn't much you can do...
Ditto what Viper said. 24 hours notice required. I think you should call a lawyer and see what the laws are in your state about landlords.
And you should look for a new place. He sounds way too creepy.
I think we have the creepo numbero UNO! This dude trumps John Mayer. Seriously, that is kind of freaky. Tell him you need a call or sumfin before he waltzes over looking for a tennis match..ugh!
Just fart in front of him or leave a "present" in the toilet the next time he comes over. Most men find that absolutely unattractive LOL
Seriously though, be careful chica. Dude is creepy.
Now the Bag Lady is worried about you. Does he own the place, or is he just the manager? (I mean, can you go over his head and complain?)
Call a plumber and get the damned toilet fixed your own self - it can't be that expensive! And wouldn't it be worth it? As for the water running down the walls...I don't know, but I'd be worried about mold.
Do you have some kind of chain or something so he can't let himself in when you're at home, sleeping, or in the shower? (Scenes from "Psycho" running through my head...)
Sheesh, look for a new place. This is totally creeping me out!
ewwww my first landlord in Chicago was that way....and I swear I came home one day and he'd been in my place going through my lingerie drawers. GROSS. His thing was always offering me bootleg VHS tapes of movies, that I didn't even ask for.
what a freak!!
Yuck - I totally know how you feel about creepers. I had a guy (several years older than me) pull over to the side of the road where I was waiting for the bus, and offer to be my boyfriend. WFT!?!? Scary.
I agree with Chia & the Bag Lady - take Chia's approach (I love it!) and make sure you have a good lock!
Another idea...do you have any very large and mean-looking male friends? Perhaps one of them could be around your house one evening when he stops by, and politely tell your landlord that he doesn't appreciate it when he stops by unannounced. :)
(My creeper story:
http://sutefaniiwiruson.blogspot.com/2008/04/i-got-off-work-early-and-was-excited-to.html)
Eeekkkk! I say close the blinds and don't open the door!!
I agree with everyone else...get a taser, chain the door when you're home, and be very careful, creepy goes to crazy very quickly!!!
Next time he comes over, I'd suggest having a copy of the California Tenants Law in easy view.
I think, by law, landlords have to lurk and be creepy.
LMAO!! not at you, but with you (that one day that you will laugh at Creepy old dude trying to SERIOUSLY hook up with you).
When I was 20, I moved into a new apt (with my then almost 2 yr old) just us & I worked nights in a bar (in every night after 3am, up 3 flights of stairs). I'd come home to my toilet seat up, sliding door open, but all locks locked.......i was sure my kids dad had found us & was just waiting to kill me one night.
turns out its my landlord. . . .(my mom set up a video camera)...you can imagine the DISGUSTING things he was doing ALL over my apt. Let your mind think the worst….
he got fired & I got new locks & 6 months free rent if I didn't sue....I took the free rent & a different apt in the complex (my dad did the locks), but he was still reported to the cops.
He as about 30ish, with a HOTT wife (seriously beautiful) & a 4 yr old. Hind sight, its funny, gross funny but I never got asked to go to a cabin……he never really talked to me, his wife did a lot though…..
Egads. I love Chia's approach and highly recommend it. I think you have to cut dickheads like this off at the knees. Make the boundaries very clear right up front.
Creepy old men. I like Chia's approach too:)
ICK! Good luck.
Marcy is so damn funny! ROFLMAO at her comment!
wow...he sounds very shady!!
Holy moses. That is creeptastic. BE CAREFUL.
Yikes. I have no other words.
Gosh, that sucks. Creepy people creeps me out too...which shouldn't because I'm a guy, but they do!
that is beyond creepy. bleh!
btw - I will be registering for the portland marathon soon! hopefully that will go better than my century bike ride. as in, I hope it's not 5000 degrees and I'd really like to finish.
Your instincts are right on, POM. Set big, clear boundaries!
Yikes, please post so that we know Creepy, Lurking Landlord doesn't have you held captive in his dungeon!?!
Kidding aside, I hope you had a nice Holiday weekend!
OMG that it really gross. I don't know if I could handle a creepy landlord like that! Eew!
And sweating walls are gross too. Hopefully he fixes it soon.
And "Big Bear Cabin"??! That just makes me giggle.
All I can say is: ewwwwwwwwwwwww!!
Yikes! Just reading the post gave me a skeezy feeling!
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