Friday, November 16, 2007

Fun Fact Friday


Welcome to the first edition of "Fun Fact Friday."


Fun Fact About Me:
I am quite possibly the absolute WORST driver.


The first day I got my driver's license should have been a clue. I should have just stopped there. I was so excited to be able to drive without a parent, so I packed up my sister and her friends and we were going to head to the mall. As, I was pulling out of the driveway, I sideswiped my mom's boyfriend's car. Uh. Totally not my fault. Why was his lame car in the driveway anyways?


But it really did go downhill from there. There have been so many rear ends, back up into's and yes, more sideswipes that I can account for. A few stand out in my mind as being the most embarrassing:

1. I was leaving this guys house after a bad first date. I just wanted to get outta there. Well, I pulled out and hit his neighbors car. That sucked.

2. I was moving my friends car so we could fit stuff in the garage - I sideswiped his car all down the side of the garage. Not pretty.

3. I borrowed my friend's truck to move. I swiped the mirror on a pole and broke it off.

4. Christmas day with my mom and her boyfriend - I sideswiped another car. Then the creepy boyfriend got out and yelled at the people. So they just left, scared.

5. I was carpooling (I was the driver) to work with people and I rolled back into another car. But I didn't realize it was me who rolled, so I was totally going off on the person for rear-ending me. oops. my bad.

My first car had so many fender benders that my friend's nicknamed it "The Rhino." Yes, my bumper was no longer parallel with the car, it actually stuck out like a horn.
Other fun facts:
1. A stranger once left a note on my car telling me I need new tires because metal was showing? What the heck? There's metal in tires? Weird.
2. I put on make up while driving. I know. It's bad.
3. I can drive with my knee pretty well.
4. I talk on the phone and TEXT while driving.
5. If someone tailgates me, I take my foot off the accelerator and slow down even more.


The worst part is that I am not getting any better. 16 years LATER, and I still can't seem to get it right. Just last Saturday, I went to park my car and I hit the curb so hard that my tire exploded.


Cuz That's How I Roll... pun intended.

32 comments:

ThickChick said...

Haha! That cracks me up!
If it makes you feel any better, I do the makeup and texting thing too. ;)

Laura N said...

Is there a world record for bad driving? Because I think you might qualify. ;-)

I shouldn't talk. I've blown a tire like that, on a curb. I have had 3 accidents that were NOT my fault (and 2 that were), but my husband likes to point out that even in the ones that aren't my fault, I'm still involved so I must have been doing something wrong (driving too fast through an intersection? Bah, the person turning left should have realized that and not turned in front of me).

You just need to win the Lotto or have a rich relative die and leave you a bunch of money so you can hire a driver. Problem solved.

Vanilla said...

LMAO! I text while driving all the time. I even check and respond to e-mail on my Blackberry while driving. I however have not had nearly as many accidents as you have. Nice work.

Kristin said...

Don't forget the time in high school that you ran over a poor, innocent dog. =)
Not to worry though, it jumped up and ran off. I think it knew there was a possibility of you rolling backwards and hitting it again.

P.O.M. said...

Oh shooot Kris - I totally forgot about that one. Wah. Thank goodness you still wanted to be my friend. ha ha.

I'm sure there are so many other times that escape my mind right now, too.

Viv said...

LOL! Loving fun fact Friday.

I text and do email on the Blackberry as well. Hope your trip to Houston was swell, and you did not blown away. It was weirdly windy here yesterday!

Non-Runner Nancy said...

OMG OMG!! The rhino???

Yes, we definitely need a pre nup.

:D

Amanda said...

OK, until just this minute, I thought I might be the worst driver in the world. You win!

RunningCrazyAfter3 said...

I do the texting thing, too, but I am relatively accident free. These are hilarious. I bet your friends are just dying to ride with you or to lend you their cars. LOL!

Mendy said...

OMG! I'm dying laughing over here! Even though I don't know you, I'm totally seeing you get pissed off about #5. Too freakin funny!

I try not to drive and talk on the cell, cause I see too many people that it totally drains them while driving - so they CAN'T drive. I saw a lady drive right through a red light the other day cause she was on the phone. Luckily no one was going through the other way.

I so do the slowing down thing if someone tailgates me. Don't they get it that I'm in control of how fast they go and if they get on my ass, I will slow WAY down... just to piss them off... yea, I got hit 3 times because of tailgater's and it's a sore spot.

Great list!!! You bring so much humor to the blogs. Love it!

Marcy said...

ROFLMAO!!! I have many notes to self while reading your blog. Let me add yet another one: Never let you borrow my car LMAO JK!!!

Jess said...

I'm not a very good driver either. I've been in 3 major accidents (rolled my car once and was ejected from the vehicle -- oopsie, wasn't wearing my seatbelt) and numerous fender benders and have been in the ditch a few times as well. My insurance is kinda high.

Amy said...

Best. Post. Ever.

David said...

January

David said...

Arizona

David said...

Rock n Roll!!!!!!

David said...

13.1

David said...

FUN!!!

David said...

Don't worry, I'm doing this to everyone in the extended circle. I'm Mendy's lesser half.

#5 v2 is something I do also. If I'm going at or near the speed limit, and someone can't take that, then they deserve to go slower. Conversely (sort of) if I'm following someone that can't stay witing 3-5 mph of the speed limit (40 and below) then I become a part of their personal space.

David said...

Oh, and you can upgrade to the 26.2 for only $35!

Who is SLB+? said...

I am heading South to San Diego next week, remind me to go as far east as I can as I get to the Newport Beach area...just in case!

katieo said...

AAHH HA HA HA!!!! love it.

and am very glad you don't live on my street.

Sara said...

OMG! I really had no idea how bad it was. Remind me of this next time we're together and we have a rental car so there is no question about who's going to drive!

Cara said...

the best thing to do when someone is tailing you or whatever is to turn on your windshield wipers and hope for their windows to be down. either way they get your dirty windshield wiper fluid all over their car. they back off immediately. hahah.

CollegeGirl said...

I'm sorry to say, but that post sort of scares me. Lol

Ovens2Betsy said...

I probably shouldn't have picked you considering you've already shared fun facts about yourself, but I'm sure there's even MORE fun stories! (In other words, you've been tagged! http://eatdrinkrunwoman.com/?p=73)

teacherwoman said...

That is too fricken' funny!

Database Diva said...

I think you would be so much fun to hang out with. I'd even ride with you, but I'm kind of a danger junkie ;)

jes said...

HAHAHA!!! #4 actually made me snort!! Thanks for the laughs!

miss petite america said...

DUDE! and i thought i was a bad driver for sitting my fender in the same spot twice in three years! you make female asian drivers like me look good! ;)

Laurel said...

Maybe you should move to Miami with all the other bad drivers in the world. No one would even notice down here!

Laura Brandon said...

wow, i really love your blog! you're one of my new favorites!