Friday, August 1, 2008

Yogis Who Suck

It's been a while since we've had a nice little rant here, so saddle up. Here we go.

People Who Suck In Bikram Yoga Class

1. Miss Rule Breaker - She is the person who walks on the carpet with her shoes or brings her cell phone into the room or even puts her mat in between the lines instead of half way over a line. She breaks rules. She is annoying.

2. Miss Does Her Own Thing - Why does this gal even come to class? She is putting no effort into her postures or she does her own moves which gets her a stern talking to.

3. Mr. Sweat Flinger - Now we all sweat more than humanly possible. But this guy flings his around like a monkey in a cage at a zoo flinging poo. Every time his arms go up, be prepared for a sweatguy shower.

4. Mrs. GRIFOYADMWATPSDSE - She is rare. This is Mrs Goes Right In Front Of You And Doesn't Move When Asked Then Pretends She Doesn't Speak English. Seriously.

5. Miss Mat Smacker - This lady actually smacked me in the head with her mat when she left the room. Can one really be that unaware of her surroundings to hit someone and not even realize it? Apparently.

A few others - The "Chatties," the annoying 80s Sweat Band Lady, and my fav, the Guy who ate a sausage and onion sandwich before class.

That's it for now. Feel free to add to my list.

Song of the Day: Runnin Up That Hill by Kate Bush

30 comments:

Xenia said...

Why are there so many annoying/stupid people in the world? It's just crazy.

I hear you on #2. There's some chicks in my spin class who blatantly disregard the instructor and do whatever random crap they feel like. Why the hell are they even there then?! Boggles the mind.

I feel better now. Thanks.

N.D. said...

Love it.
The showoff - the person that holds all the moves longer than everyone else and does the highest level everytime. Do they need attention? it is usually some really skinny long guy.

Heather said...

Mr. Moaner -- every pose is so moan-worthy and he simply must let it out. Gawd these people annoy me.

*aron* said...

LOL love this list. i saw a building with a bikram sign on it the other day and i thought of you!

Jess said...

Miss I Step On Ever Else's Mat All The Time...

Lady it's like a beach towel...you walk around it not on top of it.

Runner Leana said...

Mr. Heavy Breather who then snores really loudly during savasana. He's my favourite!

Marcy said...

"the Guy who ate a sausage and onion sandwich before class"

EWWHHH EWWWH and EEEWWWHHHH! Probably the number 1 reason why I could not hang with the Bikram.

Sagan Morrow said...

Ah, the joys of fitness classes... no matter what type of class you go to, it seems like all of these people follow you everywhere!

Judi said...

I hate Miss I can ALL the Poses Better Thank You

Tammy said...

Great list. I hate the Mat Smacker and the "I can do all the poses better" girl, too...

Kevin said...

Ahh the people we find at the gym/yoga

There is no shortage of stupid annoying people in this world, is there?

Jess said...

That's a great list!

Jess said...

That's a great list!

Victoria said...

Add to that list-- people who fart in yoga class and then act like nothing happened. I'm not sure what they are supposed to do, but pretending everything's normal when someone let go a loud one requires more mental concentration than I'm capable of.

Hee hee. You said poo.

Kate said...

lol, too funny!

I personally love the girl at the gym who is dressed in the absolutely cutest and most uncomfortable outfit possible chatting on her cell phone while "working out" on the stationary bike lol.

Maddy said...

I have one to add to the list. The snarky friends who make new members of the class uncomfortable by looking at each other and then at the new person and then at each other and then pretend the new person isn't there.

That's just not right.

jen said...

Hilarious! You should accidently smack Miss Mat Smacker in retailiation.

chia said...

Doode, these are the top reasons I don't think I'll ever step into a yoga studio ever again :-)

Ms. Flusterate said...

OK..I don't do yoga (YET! REALLY! I PROMISE I WILL!) but here's 2 of my running pet peeves (during a race, esp):

runners who jangle their damn keys for miles or have their watch beep (either HRM or to keep tempo). STOP IT!!!!

thanks! had to get that off my chest!

doctorval said...

Damn, I didn't know you were in class today.

J~Mom said...

I was going to mention the moaner as well!! That bugs me!!

teacherwoman said...

haha! That is too funny! :)

RunnerGirl said...

What an awful assortment of people!

carla said...

Sweatflinger in a SPEEDO made me cease attending Bikram.

And your comment made me laugh....and check my birth control ;)

MizFit

Marci said...

I hate the person who makes an excuse for every posture they can't do - like the rest of us do yoga and nothing else.

Christie said...

LOL. Next time just smack Miss Mat Smacker back. She'll learn not to do it again.

SUB6 said...

I LOVE Kate Bush ... not really a comment ... more a declaration :)

Michelle J said...

How about the guy OR gal that insists on wearing the shortest shorts on the planet earth, and then bends down right in front of you?? I simply cannot imagine whats going on inbetween the shorts and the hmmm, crack!! Nor do i want to know!

Thats all i got!!!

BeachRunner said...

LOL. Great post. This bikram thang sounds like the NYC subways. Being surrounded by freaks and far too close to annoying/sweaty people.

Eed said...

Not only the ones who fart, but those who fart basically ON you because you're in Berkeley and the class is too crowded and he took the "wind-removing" posture quite too literally.

Then you see him in the produce section of Whole Foods after that when you just wanted to go on with your life...

That guy.