Wednesday, February 18, 2009

The Greener Side

If the grass is always greener on the other side, then according to some people YOU are the greener side. Right?

So looking at the greener side, I thought I would list all the manure that makes my lawn so verdant and lush.

Good things about being single:
  • One can watch Sex & The City Season 1 and 2 in one sitting without complaints.
  • One remembers to floss her teeth nightly.
  • One is able to use all the expensive products that she only keeps at her house.
  • One can eat yogurt for dinner.
  • One can wear ugly blue fuzzy jammers, pink slippers and green socks with her hair in a scrunchy from high school with no shame.
  • One doesn't have to do other people's dishes.
  • One can read in peace without some stupid sports game going on in the background.
  • One's toothpaste is neatly put away without crap all over the counter.
  • One does not have whiskers in her sink.
  • When one purchases a treat for herself, it is still in the fridge when she gets home.

That's all I can think of for now. But I know you have some manure to share - why is your grass greener?

36 comments:

Haley said...

Hmmm...my manure smells an awful lot like your manure. :)

I can add hogging the whole bed and all the pillows.

Sarah said...

In light of SNTC- secret single behavior - such as eating (in my case) crackers and cheese standing at the counter while reading blogs. (for carrie it was eating saltines and grape jelly while reading fashion magazines.)

Amber said...

My boyfriend always eats MY treats/food. Drives me nuts!

the gazelle said...

I just had a sudden urge to live alone.

But for me -

One does not have to get off work early to come home & feed the cats
One comes home to fresh-baked bread at least twice a week
One has someone to split the housecleaning chores with (most of the time, anyways)
One has someone to remove spiders from the bedroom
One has someone who will sit in bed with one while she falls asleep when one is stressed out & clingy

Susan said...

I like your list. All I can think to add is not having to change your eating habits and generally having a much cleaner house!

Patricia said...

One does not get woken up by snoring, sleep-talking, or someone else getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of a very good dream.

Jess said...

It's true, there are many appealing things to being single. I love my husband, but I do miss the freedom and unaccountability that came with being single.

Lisa D said...

Ditto on everything on your list. I'd add:

- If I need to move to another city to find a job, I don't have to think about how this will impact someone else's life.
- I can spend as much as I want on books, make-up, and fun clothes and don't have to worry about explaining it to a husband.

* it's a good exercise to think about the positive aspects of being single. I am def guilty of always thinking about what others have that I don't. So thanks for making me think about the 'bright side' of things! :)

Chic Runner said...

* one can do whatever she wants whenever she wants

* one can hog the entire bed and doesn't have to worry about waking up in the middle of the night

* one can eat whatever she wants, whenever she wants

* one doesn't have to listen to complaining!

love ya girl!

Alisa said...

I watch Sex and the City all the time!!!!!!! No complaints from the hubs...he better not complain he bought all 6 seasons for me.

Things I miss about living alone:

1. Being messy and not having to feel guilty about it (though I still am in my bathroom)
2. Having a whole closet to myself
3. Eating cereal for dinner (though on nights the hubs has class I still do this sometimes)
4. Eating ice cream from the carton
5. Listening to my music loud on the weekends

Those are minor in comparison to the things I get from being married but sometimes living alone and being single has its appeal!

Carolina John said...

If you live on both sides of the fence, then the grass is always green. I'm not suggesting a way that that relates to being single, but it's just a nice way to think. See the other side of the fence and try and get a little bit of that fertilizer onto your side.

From my side of the fence i could say:

one gets to hear "I love you daddy" every day
one gets left alone whenever they want to be left alone at work

jen said...

I love this post! You really have an amazing life as is, I'm glad you're acknowledging it. :)

Petraruns said...

I feel like SUCH an old woman - it has been so long since I lived on my own. . THings I miss:
- control. basically, of everything. tidiness / food / money / spending..
- time.. I miss the time to just be by myself for myself.
- you can go for a run without organising babysitter
And definitely watching SATC without criticism..

SJ Goody said...

Oh the whiskers and the toothpaste. ARGH! We have double sinks and it still drives me bonkers.

audgepodge said...

Love the list! I agree with the above - I just love the freedom to do and live whatever I want. :) But I think I am an unusually independent person.

Xenia said...

-I love the unaccountability of being single.
-I can pass gas and not worry about it.
-I get the entire bed and all the covers.

Basically, what everyone else has said. Except for the gas bit. :)

X-Country2 said...

What a great list. I have a whole list of my own about being kid-less. The top is sleeping until noon. :o)

RunToFinish said...

well my grass isn't green.. if we're talking about that grass.. I mean it's just normal...

Ok anyhow yes all kinds of great reasons to be 1... no one taking the remote, no one talking when you want quite time, no one taking the damn covers

kristen said...

-going shopping and not having to leave the bags in the car until it's "safe"
-drinking as much wine as I want without getting an, "are you sure you want one more glass" tease
-catching up on your blogging whenever the mood striks
-falling asleep with the tv on to whatever it is *I* and ME alone want to watch

teacherwoman said...

Great list! I have to agree with having the bed to myself and all 5 pillows. LOL

Christie said...

The last bullet is cracking me up. I know I am hotter than fish grease if someone ate my food.

Emily said...

What about being able to make out with whomever you'd like? And the fun of flirting. And never having to share anything. Drinking as much as possible w/o scrutiny. Eating only chips and funyuns for dinner, along with some wine of course.

Marie said...

Someone once sent me this, which I love:

THE WORLD 'S SHORTEST FAIRY TALE!

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said:"NO!" And the girl lived happily ever-after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn't save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore friggin' lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time. .........THE END.....

Marcy said...

I think Marie's Fairy Tale is the shiz!! There ya go ;-)

carrie said...

I just realized I really miss taking a swig out of the hershey syrup bottle after a crappy day....

aron said...

this was such a great post.... ohh i miss so many of those things :)

i could watch SATC forrrever.

carla said...

GLAD YOU ARE BACK!!

(and the single list? I could so so SO add to that :))

Michelle said...

I love your list p.o.m!!!

Especially the PJ's and green socks and scrunchy!!!

I have nothing to add!!

HAPPY THURSDAY!!!!

Glam said...

My sentiments exactly. My grass is the perfect shade of green at the moment.

Wait, did that sounds like I was talking about the turf on my girl bits?! Cuz I assure you, it ain't green!

Anyway.... My list:
My diet coke stash remains MY DIET COKE STASH
I wake up to my alarm clock on time, and not an hour earlier to his
I eat healthier
My bathtub actually stays clean - no grease monkey residue!
I can do whatever I want, whenever I want and with whoever I want
I'm no longer forced to watch American Idol, OC Choppers, Spike TV, or NASCAR.
I no longer have to deal with his idiot friends, or worse, his mother...

It's gonna take the fairy tale, happily-ever-after, so cute it's annoying kind of love for me to give up this existence. But that's the way it should be right?!

That is all.

Jess said...

I do miss being able to curl up on the sofa and watch guilty pleasure TV on ABC Family, but on the flip side I have someone to take care of me when I'm sick.

Nobel4Lit said...

Marie, excellent "Fairy Tale"!!

Steve Stenzel said...

HA! I love the list! But why does being single mean you remember to floss? I can't make that connection...

P.O.M. said...

Good point Steve. I guess I would have to explain that while spending the night at the ex's, my extensive "getting ready for bed" procedures were often interupted or had to be cut short for more interesting bedtime activities.

aNd! said...

LOL, I was just admiring the brand new tube of toothpaste this morning while I was brushing my teeth and trying to rack my brain around exactly how my othe half manages to make such a mess of the tube.

Runner Leana said...

The best is being able to eat ice cream for dinner and have someone give you a dirty look and say, "no, you cannot eat only ice cream for dinner." Well, yes I can!!

chia said...

I'm so happy I don't have stray boxers in my laundry anymore. Try explaining that to Mom whilst doing laundry in her basement, really? Do I need the "why haven't I met him" conversation over some other man's draws?