Showing posts with label WTH???. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WTH???. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Running on Anxiety

Self-Sabotaging or Anxiety?

You tell me.

Remember when I used to wake up before work and run? Well I did.

I have been trying my best to get back into that cycle (although with my travel schedule it's been a challenge). But when I'm home, I PLAN on waking up early to run. Here is the routine:
  • I drink lots of water, eat healthy dinner and go bed early
  • I lay in bed and think of stupid things
  • I start to worry that I won't fall asleep
  • I don't fall asleep so I start to worry more about not getting enough rest
  • Then I worry that I'm worrying and causing this whole thing (I must be crazy)
  • My heart starts beating fast and I don't fall asleep
  • I stare at the clock until 2am
  • I drift off and have a nightmare
  • Nightmare wakes me up at 3:30 am
  • I lean over and turn off my alarm because there is no way of waking up to run in 2 hrs

This is not a rare occurrence. Neither is the nightmare thing, but that's a blog for another day.

Hence the reason I'm only running on the weekends. I don't stress about what time I fall asleep and I don't stress about when I need to wake up.

I really don't know what to do about it.