I got to thinking about ex-boyfriends last night. Not in some creepy, fanatical way, but more about how I have handled them in the past vs how I am handling it now.
So let's review - POM history X.
X-1. We dated when we were very young, but dated for 5 years. I was dev-a-stated when we broke up. I'm sure my girls (hi kris) are rolling their eyes right now. Like I said, we were young but we went through a lot of bad family crap together and were very close. I moved away after the break up (looking back this is the BEST thing that happened to me but you never see that at the time). We didn't talk for a year. Then we tried to reconnect, but at this time another woman and a baby were involved. It didn't work. About 5 years after that, we reconnected again. But this time I was over him and we were able to be friends. We had a few dinners. He even came to stay with me (platonic) one weekend. To this day, I would consider him a friend. We don't talk, but it wouldn't be awkward if we saw each other. He invited me to his wedding, but I declined.
X2. Ok, honestly X2 is about 15 guys over the next 10 years. They all sort of blend together. We would date for about 3 months, then call it quits for whatever reason. Man, I have some good stories about these guys - but I'll save it for another post. But I can say that I am on friendly terms with most of them. SIDENOTE: There are 2 that I would never, ever want to see again. I dated 3 Matts in a row. Only Matt 2 was nice -we're still friends. I will blog about Matt 1 and 3 another time. It's some gooooood shiz. Back to what I was saying, I am friends with them. They are on my facebook. We occasionally meet for a drink or chat via some form of el communicado.
X3. The boyfriend before the Captain was J1. (Hi J1 - he reads sometimes). We dated for a while. Then broke up, but stayed friends. Like active friends. We texted, IM'd, emailed. He got another girlfriend and we even managed to stay friends through that. They broke up and we started hanging out again. It ended kinda ugly with me throwing a drink in his face at a bar (Sorry J1 - you really pissed me off that day). But we talked after and made up as FRIENDS. We're still cool to this day. I might even call him if I was in some type of pinch - and he could do the same with me.
So that brings us to the Captain. We've broken up so many times, but we always continue to talk (once again, I'm sure my girls are rolling their eyes). I don't see how we can NOT be friends. We both really care about each other. Just because we don't have a future and he won't be my baby-daddy doesn't mean that I can throw away the friendship part of the relationship that we have developed. I know I need time to get over the hurt part. But I am already over the going back and forth part. He is still my go-to guy. He fixes things on my car and I do laundry at his house. He brings me fish and I bring him ice cream. That's what friends do, right? I know problems will arise (like the first time we broke up) when I start dating other people. He will freak out, but that's his issue to work through.
What do you think? Friends with exes: Excellent or Excrement?