Condo-Conundrum

Sorry for the lack of posts of late.

I have been dealing with the condo thing. Here is the story:
It's not happening.

Basically, the condo complex has too many deficiencies so the mortgage insurance was denied. It has nothing to do with me (I have very very good credit!!). I didn't want to put more money down, so I cancelled the entire deal. If I wanted to borrow money from family for a larger down payment, then I would pick a better location and condo. I was only using this one as a stepping stool to get into the market because I could do it on my own.

I am still going to buy something this year. I am just back at square one.
I am ok with this. I have learned A LOT and I'm happy to be able to start over.
Onwards and upwards, right??

Liar Liar Pants on Fire

I read on Vanilla's blog about a cool website where you can stalk other runners to find out their times on races to prove that you are bigger, faster and stronger than them and can therefore brag about your greatness. On the other hand, it can also give you the tools to know when you should SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE about your race times.

Anyway, I checked out my own info on Athlinks.com and discovered that I'm a liar.

Not in any big dramatic way. But I lied about my age in Colorado last year.

Oops.

Go ahead and take a look at that Portland marathon time. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

Wonder if I will ever be able to do THAT again.

Eating an Elephant

Buying a house is like eating an elephant.
It's best done one bite at a time.

I am done stressing out over every damn document or every damn fee that is thrown my way.
If it is meant to be, it will happen. If not, then there is another plan out there for me.

What I don't understand is if everyone wants people to be buying to help the economy, then WHY is every step riddled with if's, and's, but's and any other conjunction one can imagine.
My new saying of the week is "you guys need to figure it out."

At least I can say that I've learned a CRAP LOAD about the process.

I'm trying to decide what is worse - escrow or breakups.

Then She Went For A Run

I've been carrying around a lot burdens the past few months. And let me tell ya, they are heavy. Maybe that's why I have put running on the back burner.

I was blah-blah-blahing to my girlfriend recently about the same old blah-blah's that I have been blahing about for the past few months. And she said something to me so simple that it actually took a couple hours for me to absorb. She said, "Why do you care what he thinks about you or your life? He doesn't care what you think about his."

Then I was emailed some random forward, which I usually just delete without reading. But I opened this one and it said something like, "Take care of the people that are good to you and forget about the ones that are not."

Then I was driving in my car and the silly lyrics "just live your life, ain't got time for no haters" came on.

Then It hit me like a ton o' bricks: Just let it go. Really this time.
Then I did.
Then I felt free and amazing and optimistic and relaxed.

Then I went for a run.

Bar Method Review

Saturday morning I pulled back the 'Orange Curtain' and cruised down the 405 frwy to get to Hermosa Beach to check out this new workout class.

According to the website:

The Bar Method™workout creates a uniquely lean, firm, sculpted body by
combining the muscle-shaping principles of isometrics, the body-elongating
practice of dance conditioning, the science of physical therapy and the
intense pace of interval training into a powerful exercise format that
quickly and safely reshapes and elongates muscles.

We arrive at the building - a really cool, old bank building and are greeted by a very sweet adorable girl. We fill out forms, pay $22 and put on our socks. Yes, you work out in socks. The class was small - about 12 women, all of varying body shapes. The environment was very comfortable, which I'm glad because you do some weird looking moves (think squeezing butt cheeks).

The teacher warned us that "shaking is normal." Then she tells us to get 2lb and 3lb weights. I think to myself that this will be a breeze. We do a little warm up, then start with arm exercises. They weren't too hard for me, but my friend was really struggling. Then we do push ups. You do a million reps of everything. Then we go to the "bar" like a ballet bar and start with the leg exercises. We do these things called pretzels, mannnnnnnnnnn on mannnnnnn my legs were shaking by the end of that one. Then you do some core work - some of this was tricky. Then more push ups.

Overall I liked the class. It was a fun change. But I'm more of an intense cardio kind of girl. Sunday morning, my gluts hurt a little and my pecs (from all the push ups). I probably wouldn't drive to LA again to do it. And if I am going to spend that much on a class, it would be Bikram - hands down.

Other news: Maybe date 2 was even better than date 1.

Weekend Warrior

Since I've been such a stress ball lately, I am deciding to use this time to perform a little science experiment with my body. Just for you guys. That's how dedicated I am to the Institute.

So the experiment is this... can I maintain my weight by eating healthy and just being a weekend warrior?

That's what I've turned into lately. I am not eating poorly. So that's in check.
But I can't seem to get any workouts in except on the weekends.

My weekend plan looks like this:
Tonight - Bikram
Saturday - "The Bar Method" Class
Sunday - Run and maybe another Bikram

Don't worry, I'm not planning on being a weekend warrior forever. I am just not going to put any more pressure on myself (for now). Sometimes we need a little break.

I'm excited to check out this Bar Method class. Unfortunately, the closest studio is about an hour away so if I love it, I probably won't be able to do it very often. Unless some brilliant person realizes that the OC is where it's at and opens a studio here.

In other news, someone may have gone a date with someone new and perhaps it was really fun but someone isn't ready to share more yet.

Bittersweet Changes

I've been holding back some big news...

I am moving.

Not only am I moving, but I'm buying my own condo!

I have been planning this and thinking about it for the past few years. Of course I always thought I would be taking this step with a fiance, but that's another Oprah.

To be honest with ya'll, I am totally and completely freaking out. It's a ginormous change for me on so many levels, I can't even explain. But I'll try with a nice pro/con list :)

PROS:

1. Good financial investment


2. Tax benefits


3. Bigger place


4. No mold, leaking pipes, running toilet, creepy landlord or loud upstairs neighbor


5. Closer to yoga studio


6. Away from ex-boyfriend (whom I can't seem to get over)


7. It will force me to reconnect with other friends or even meet new ones


8. Exciting to decorate my own place - I've become obsessed with decorating websites


9. More space!!! 2 bedrooms and lots of closet space


10. A big kitchen


11. A washer and dryer - hello, I have not had one in 10 years!!!


12. Dinner parties!

CONS:

1. I will not be living across from the beach (I've been here 10 years)


2. I will have to drive to my favorite runs - I've been very spoiled.


3. Moving away from friends


4. Away from ex-boyfriend (whom I can't seem to get over)


5. The entire process of buying a home - shoot me now!

I guess the lists were a lot longer in my head. This entire process is completely stressful and annoying. I am supposed to close escrow March 30th. I hope so because I gave notice at my apartment to be out by April 15. It just seems that every little freakin' step takes a week to get done. There are A LOT of incompetent people out there.

I've been on an emotional roller coaster and it's taking a major toll on my body. I am always tired. Always. Exercise seems to only happen on the weekends because I can't get up early or stay up late to do it. I know it would help, but I just can't wake up in the morning - no matter what time I go to bed. If this continues after I move in, I will go to the doctor and make sure it's nothing serious. Oh wait - no I won't because I won't have insurance. Something else I am still stressed about.

I haven't stepped on a scale in a very long time. I don't want to face it yet. Some of my clothes are getting tighter - my casual jeans don't even button. I'll deal with all of this when I can. I am hoping I will get moved in, decorate my place, figure out my fall marathon, get back on track with training, meet a new man, have fun dinner parties, fall in love and live happily ever after. I don't think that's too much to ask for in a year. Do you? JUST PUTTING IT OUT THERE!

Say It Out Loud

I might have already blogged about this. Forgive me if I have.

Have you ever had a decision to make and you weren't really sure what direction to take?
This works best for dating, but it really could be applied to other areas of ones life.

Well something the Spicy Latina said to me really rang true.
Say it out loud to a friend!

It might make the decision a lot more clear.

For example I met this guy I am considering going out with.

• He is kinda short.
• He said he never wants to get married again.
• He doesn't believe in God.

Yeah, but here I am still considering going out with him.
I can get over the height thing, but the other 2? Uhm... DUH!

So, what do you have to SAY OUT LOUD????

Fanastic

I think I mentioned a while ago that my work is cutting my health care. Sign of the times, I guess. So I applied for private health care. Didn't think it would be a problem.
Until this morning.
I got this in my inbox:

Dear Jessica,
We regret to inform you that your application for health
insurance coverage has been declined. Blue Shield of California will contact
you directly to provide more information about their decision.
eHealthInsurance has not been informed why your application was
declined.
We understand this is not the result you had hoped for. If you don't have an employer-sponsored health insurance alternative available, here are some other options you may wish to consider:
Public Health Coverage and Assistance Programs. ......
Social Security and Medicare......

WHAT THE HELL????
Public Health Coverage or Medicare??
Are you kidding me? I am one of the healthiest people I know. How could I be declined insurance?

What is this world coming to?

Matt- The Trilogy

I met the third Matt on a pub crawl. This was probably not a good thing. First of all, he was wearing a T-Shirt with the sleeves cut off. I think it's the Midwestern guys version of a tank top. Anyway, he was drunk and annoying and all over me. But he had this accent like Matthew McConaughey and for some reason, he kinda looked like him, but with dark hair. Hey, he was tall & muscular and that was my number one "must have" at the time. I gave him my number, then ditched him.

He called that night. I didn't answer. He called the next day. We chatted every night that week and it must have been the accent, that sexy southern drawl that got me to agree to go out with him. After date number one, we were instant boyfriend/girlfriend. Have you ever had that? Where one date turns into an instant relationship? Well it did with M3. We had mutual friends, so we were just always together.

I have to admit we had our good times. I got him into running so we would do that together. He was a beach bum like me so we worshipped the sun together after our runs. We went to fun BBQ's, concerts, etc, etc. He was always "proud" to show me off, which felt good. He was the 2nd guy (after M2) that I dated after losing weight so this was new to me.

Something that bugged me from the beginning was that he wasn't very smart. I thought I could overlook this, but conversations started to get tedious. Plus he was opinionated and his opinions sucked. I remember driving home from Home Depot one day and it really hit me that we have nothing to talk about.

Then there was the tattoos. I don't particularly like tattoos, but I don't dislike them. He had 2. I brought him to a dinner party with some of my artsy, intellectual friends. M3 thinks a dinner party is a good time to show his tattoos and talk about their meaning. I'm sorry, but nobody freakin' cares about their meaning and it definitely doesn't warrant an hour story. Having a tattoo does not make you unique buddy. Everyone and their mama (including my mama) have them. Then the topic changed to a children's book about a squid (they were new parents at the time) and M3 said, "I don't know much about the ocean but I've always been fascinated by the sea." Everyone just stared at him. The hostess has not let me live this one down yet.

Then comes the sex. So the first time, I totally faked it. Sometimes it's just easier that way. The funny thing is that he thought since we both "ended" at the same time that we were meant to be. He talked about it all the time - how we were made for each other. It was quite funny, but the only person I could laugh about it with was my coworker. (Yes, I tell Spicy Latina EVERYTHING!)

Then the anger issues started. The first time it went like this:

We walked to the local market and picked up groceries to make a fantastic home cooked meal, including 2 expensive steaks. I paid for them. Oh, I forgot to mention he was 'in between jobs' at the time. We get home and I start preparing the side dishes when I hear some vulgarity from the patio. He storms in, yells "The F'ing BBQ is out of F'ing gas" and throws the steaks in the garbage! He was ranting and raving and huffing and puffing over something so small (and fixable). I was pissed that he threw the steaks away. This was our first fight. I just grabbed my stuff and walked out the door.

This becomes our pattern of fighting. He is not a good fighter. He screams, he cusses, he says very mean things. I just leave. Then he calls and says he's sorry.

Anger situation #2:

Again, we come home from the market with a bunch of groceries. It was 4th of July weekend and a several of us were going to hang at the beach, BBQ, etc. So we stocked up on bottled waters. Once back at his apartment, he was putting things away. I was sitting in the living room when bottled waters started flying across the room. He was cursing and screaming that they didn't fit in his refrigerator. So the next best thing is to throw them across the room?? I grabbed my stuff (again) and told him that he needs to calm down before I will hang out with him.

Our fighting and bickering got worse. He just irritated the crap out of me. Small things started to bug me. I tried to tell him I needed space, but he didn't know what that meant.

I broke it off with him via an "instant message."

I know that sounds pathetic, but I was afraid of his reaction.

I tried to be nice and said that I enjoyed spending time with him, but didn't feel the connection that he was feeling. I told him that I need more space and didn't think it would work out for us.

My phone rang instantly.

It was him.

He was pissed.

He started yelling at me and calling me names. I have never had anyone talk to me like this before. There was a lot of "F you" and "Who the F do you think you are?" It definitely reassured me that I was making the right decision to end it.

My all time favorite was when he called me an "O.C. Get Around Girl." I don't really know what that means, but it was hilarious. My friends and I thought it was so clever that I had a tank top made with that on it.

So that's M3. It's not as exciting as I had built it up to be.

I heard he's married now and moved back to where ever he came from. I wonder if he still throws water bottles and steaks. Ok, I don't really wonder at all.