Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Unsolicited Advice

Good morning Campers. Today we’re going to talk about “unsolicited advice.” Now, don’t get me wrong. I love advice. Advice from true friends or loved ones, when needed and when ASKED for, can be very helpful.

For example:
Me: Hi best friend. Do you think this shirt looks good on me?
Best Friend: Actually, I think the pink one looks better.

See, that is solicited advice and that is fine. That is not what we are talking about today.

Unsolicited advice tends to come when you are least expecting it because well, it is UNSOLICITED. It is awkward for the receiving party and just plain irritating. Why on earth does the advising party think so highly of their advice that they just pass it out so obtrusively?

Let’s look at some examples that have happened in my life:

Example #1:
Un-named Person who is not close to me in a personal way: Hi Jessica. I love the outfit, but those shoes really aren’t working for you.
(Oh, really PERSON? Well, I like the f’n shoes. I think they ARE working for me and I will wear them every damn day now.)

Example #2:
Married Person: So, are you seeing anyone special?
Single Me: Uhm Nope. Not right now.
Married: Well, don’t rush it. Enjoy being single. It will happen when you stop looking.
(AARRGGGHHHH – shut IT married person. You know that you “looked” every damn day of your pathetic single life, too. So just shut it.)

Example #3:
Non-Runner: So, what have you been up to?
Me: Oh, I’ve been busy. I just finished my first marathon.
N.R.: Really? Running all that way can’t be good for you. I heard it’s really bad, especially for women.
Me: Hmmm. Well, I rather enjoy it and it does wonders for me.
N.R.: Well, running isn’t something you will be able to do forever, ya know?
(Ok lazy bastard! When you get off your fat tush and can run one freakin’ mile, then MAYBE we’ll talk.)

Example #4:
N.R.. So, you’re a runner?
Me: Well, I try. I’ve been doing it for about a year an a half. Maybe 2.
N.R.: Do you stretch? You know, you really should stretch.
(Light bulb! Really Einstein? I should stretch? Ok. I’ll try to remember that.)

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe not. Please validate my irritability by sharing a similar situation with the group today. Anyone? Anyone?

Song of the Day: Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups


Danielle in Iowa in Ireland said...

I hate the #2 people! They can bite me!

Having lots of hair, sometimes I get hair advice:

"Your hair looks good like that! A lot less poofier than the way you normally wear it!"

Uh, thanks?

Ian said...

You know you really should calm down a little bit. It's not good for you to go through life so angry at everyone that is just trying to help you.

;) Ha. See. Giving unsolicited advice can be fun, in fact I recommend you try returning the unsolicited advice to the original giver.

Take example #1. You should have said: "Yeah, I know. By the way I love your earrings but that nose really isn't working for you. When are you going to get that fixed?"

P.O.M. said...

Great Idea Vanilla. Stay tuned for tomorrows blog.

Pokey said...

LOVE IT! I share your disdain for the advice givers! :)

Laurel said...

OMG This is the funniest sh%t!!! I LOVE Examples 3 and 4. I love it when lazy people preach about how bad running is for you.

"Um, yes, you're right, exercise is way worse for you than sitting on the couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry's watching Grey's Anatomy. Oh wait, is that McDonald's breakfast you're eating AGAIN??? Yes, please preach to me you're knowledge of health."


RunnerGirl said...

I got the "training for a marathon isn't really that good for you" advice quite a bit. As if the training isn't hard enough, we don't need to hear negativity on top of it!

Marcy said...

Hmmmmmmmm I can't think of any off the top of my head but I got tons of advice like that when I was pregnant.

P: "Are you eating a hot dog?"
Me: "Yeah, so"
P: "Do you know that hot dogs have nitrates in them? Your baby could come out with birth defects"
Me (internally): "Thanks, I'll be sure to call you when he/she does"


kate said...

NR: Did you hear about that one runner at that one marathon that died?
Me: Yeah?
NR: So you're not going to run the marathon are you?
Me: Uhh...
NR: I mean, you could DIE!

So next time someone says this to me, I'm going to say "Did you hear about that car acciedent on the freeway this morning? Someone DIED! You're not going to drive a car are you? I mean, you could DIE!"

Some people just dont get it.

Jes said...

Yikes! I would kick #2!

teacherwoman said...

Too funny! I especially like when people find out I am single and they say something like "I am sure there is some guy I know I can set you up with"... as if I NEED to be in a relationship and the first single male they think of they blurt out... nice..

Petraruns said...

What a great post! OK my least appreciated bit of unsolicited advice:

A few years ago: I'm overweight, tired and looking after my two little kids full-time. I look HIDEOUS! Someone comes up to me in the kitchen at a party where I'm dealing with the mess:
"So, you're a housewife!"
(Me, silent, hearing an internal bang as my self-esteem reaches a new low)
"You know what - you should cherish this, it's the best time of your life! So fulfilling!"
(What the hell is so fulfilling about being at home with two children you love but can't have an adult conversation with, clearing up mess ALL day and it's still a mess in your house, looking ugly and unattractive and feeling ugly and unattractive? Those days are gone but believe me I do NOT hark back to them or see them in a golden glow!)

Jess said...

Oh I have heard many of the running ones. Especially the part about how it's not good for you. Once a colleague said that to me about marathon running -- it's so hard on your body, blah, blah -- and the irony? She was a smoker!

Mendy said...

LMAO!! Those are so right on. Especially, the running ones. I wish I had a dollar for everyone that said (who are not runners) "running's bad for the knees and runners get injuries a lot". Well, suck it trebek. Blah....

I love the ones when your pregnant too, especially from men who were never pregnant or are not doctors.

Great examples!

miss petite america said...

ooooh those are very good ones.

another i've gotten is at the gym by stupid ass trainers. one actually walked up to me and said he could help me with some glutes exercises. basically, he stopped what he was doing to come over to tell me my ass was saggy.

or when people give you unsolicited diet advice. what makes you think i need to be on a diet jerkface?

Runner Leana said...

Your post had me laughing..!! My least favourite piece of advice? Talking to a fellow coworker who used to run marathons about my upcoming Goofy Challenge in January...
Him: Why are you running both races? If I were you, I'd just run the half. Forget the full.
Me: Well, I've been running my butt of to train for it and I already paid the race entry for Goofy, but thanks for the advice...

Unknown said...

Actually Leana, you co-worker has a point. You're running a full marathon the day AFTER the half? That's just crazy. (At least that's what my husband told me after I signed us up!!! Hope your training is going well!)