Big Annoucement

My friends, here it is - the moment you all (or at least I) have been waiting for...

I GOT A NEW JOB!

Not just any job - but like my DREAM job. I'm so excited. This Wed is my last day at my current job, then I have a week off, then I start. My first event will be about 3 weeks after and it's in Maui. SOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than where I have been traveling - like Austin, Minnesota - home of the SPAM Museum.

I'm seriously so excited and here is the kicker. I have worked with this company in the past, as a vendor at my old job. And she SOUGHT me out. She found me on Facebook and wanted to get together to talk about maybe working together again. It's been a very long process, like MONTHS. And it's all finalized now. How amazing is that?

So in my days off before my new job I am going to get fully back into the swing of things in regards to health, workouts, etc. I have been traveling so darn much that all of that has gone to the birds. I can't fit in my dressy work clothes, and my new job is much dressier than what I'm doing now.

I'm just excited. Excited about my future. I can't remember the last time I said or thought that.

Life es good.
And I promise to start blogging again. I know you've heard that before. But I will definitely try.

Hold Your Horses

No, I wasn't kidnapped in Cabo. I had an AMMMMAAAAZZZZZZZZZING time though.

Gourmet dinners
Pool Time
Tennis
Massages (yes, plural)
Margaritas galore
Dancing

Seriously a great trip. I would not even WANT to stand on the scale right now. We seriously ate so much. Drinking a lot too, but not as bad as we could have :)

A LOT of other stuff is coming down the pike over here. There will be some major updates very, very soon.

A Real Trip

In exactly 24 hours I will be sitting first class, poppin' bubbly on my way to CABO.

I'm landing and getting a massage.
Then

DRINKIN THE BIGGEST MARGARITA I CAN GET MY GRUBBY LITTLE HANDS ON.

That is all.

Backslide On A Stick

Well, the scale went the wrong way this week. I have nobody to blame but myself. I missed my workouts Friday and Saturday. I was down in San Diego for work then stayed to have some fun with a friend in town. I figured that 3 hours of dancing like sweaty maniac would be enough of a work out, however when you add a late night burger, fries and hot wings into the mix, it is a recipe for disaster. Not to mention waking up covered in hot wing sauce.

We also hit up this little spot - Seriously GO THERE if you're in San Diego. It was so yummers. I actually went there for dinner Fri night and returned for lunch on Saturday. I don't know how to describe it - it's like high end bar food. Dreamy. Chorizo corn dogs. hello!

Leaving for Cabo in 2 days. Let's just say that instead of dropping cash on new bikinis, I purchased two new cover-ups instead.

In OTHER news... I have to say that there are alot of scummy jerks out there. What sucks is that they are disguised as nice guys. I met a guy in San Diego - we hung out with all our friends, had a BLAST. He was really funny and sweet. We texted all weekend. My friend had some fun pictures, so I texted him and asked for his email address so I can send him the photos. He sent it to me. Then I thought, 'oh I should see if he's on facebook.' So I looked him up and
BAM
HOME BOY IS MARRIED!
Obv, I cut all contact. But seriously people - what the heck?

Ewe...What's On Her Sleeve?

I've been feeling a little sicky - sore throat, snotty. Maybe it's just allergies.

I was running yesterday morning and having issues breathing out of my nose. So I blew a couple snot rockets.. and let the flood gates open!

I swear I lost about 2lbs of SNOT, which I very carefully wiped on my sleeve.

The down side of blowing snot rockets while running is that you don't have a mirror to see if there are any remnants.... you know? The captain used to call them 'men overboard." Crusties, boogies, little friends? What do you call them?

What? Are you grossed out? At least I didn't poop my pants - not naming any names AMY LAWSON.

Pounds, Hikes and Trips, Oh My

Two more ell-bees down (see sidebar).

Saturday was so supa dupa fun. Dr. Dev and I headed to Laguna Canyon for a nice hike/trail run. She was planning on hiking and looking at flowers/plants, because that's her thang. I was planning on running. We had the perfect combo of both! Overall, we did about 7 miles. I would say we ran 4-5 of those. I sometimes forget how many amazing spots there are here in So Cal. It was especially interesting because Dr. Dev was pointing out all these natural wonders that I would have missed if I was running alone. But please don't test me because I would never remember the names of any of these plants. It's going to be my mission to step out of my comfort zone and check out my places. (I think I've said this before).

Please enjoy this lovely pic, courtesy of Dr. Dev and also please enjoy the fanny pack I am wearing. Over those hills, you can see the ocean. It's awesome. I heart Laguna.

Cabo is in about a week. I won't be at my goal weight, but at least I'm heading in the right direction. My sister took some photos this weekend while we were at the beach. No way in hiz-ell those are going to be posted. I even flinched when I saw them. ARGH. Note to self: Forget to bring camera to Cabo.

And, for those that are wondering, I am going to Cabo with 2 girlfriends, their hubbies and......

THE LOADMASTER!!!

Workin' for the Weekend

I'm so looking forward to this weekend. I just wish it was a little bit longer :)

I ran 4 miles this morning and I really want to go to Bikram after work. But I MUST go to the market. I have no groceries and I need to make some dishes for Father's day. If only I could slip out of work early and go to the 4:30 class - it would solve all my problems. Well, not ALL my problems, but at least the problem of the hour.

I'm really looking forward to Saturday. Dr. Dev and I are hitting the trails! We're going to hike, do a little trail running and take pictures of flowers (that's her thing - check out her blog). Then we're going to go watch "The Girl with The Dragon Tattoo" movie. I've read the entire trilogy and can't wait to see the movie. I am also looking forward to mowing some serious popcorn-----ahhhhhhhhhh popcorn.

Sunday, I am going to hit up Bikram early. Then we're having a father's day picnic at the beach. My cutie patootie nieces, my sissy, me and pops. I'm really looking forward to the day with them. Yes, I still call my sister 'sissy'. She calls me sissy. And her kids call me "Aunt Sissy." It actually stunned me one day when the almost-five year old was trying to get my attention and shouted "JESSICA!" I looked at her and said "wow, I didn't know you even knew my real name." She said, "duh." Her new favorite thing to say is "OMG." She's not even 5. GOD, I love that kid.

That's about it. By the way - did I tell you guys who I'm going to Cabo with???

The Cure to All the Ails

My friends, I'm FINALLY feeling like I'm back on track.

• I've got more energy.
• I'm sleeping better.
• Anxiety? What anxiety?
• The scale is slowly (healthily) moving in the right direction.
• I have a sunny disposition (haaaaaaaaaa... just call me Mary Freakin' Poppins)

The stupid thing is that I KNEW exercise would get me here. The first couple steps are the hardest. Kinda like running - the first 2 miles are usually the worst. I'm on day 5 of exercising everyday. I'm wondering if I can make it everyday until Cabo. I think I can. I only have 2 days of work trips. I can work out in the morning before one, the other might be tricky. But hey - may as well shoot for the moon.

I am going to go get new yoga dvd to do in the mornings on days that I'm not running. (Remember my old rule about not running 2 days in a row - I seem to always end up injured if I do that.) Any suggestions????

Slow Start

Weigh In this morning - 142.8
That's like 1.2 f'n pounds for the week.
Me not happy.

I didn't drink all week (except for wine during my stupid delayed flight home Friday night).
I did 4 days of Bikram this week.
I ran 3 days this week.
I kept calories down to about 1200-1500 per day (except wine on Friday).

But, I have to admit that I did eat about 6 lbs of M&Ms. Do you think that could be the problem?

17 days til Cabo. Step away from the freakin' M&Ms. I don't even really LIKE them - they are just sitting there - at work - staring at me. I tried to move away from them , but they call to me..... stupid M&Ms.

Down Side of Being Single

It's times like this that I wish I had boyfriend.

I'm totally paranoid to deal with things like this. Honestly, it's just an oil change. There should be nothing to be afraid of.

Single Hood Dinner... and I Mean HOOD

A received 2 messages on Facebook today from girlfriends who told me they made my famous "Pita Pizza" for dinner last night. (Ok, famous in MY world!) And the crazy thing is that I made it last night too.

But I was very short on ingredients so I went a little GHETTOOOOOOOO-style on my famous pita pizza. Basically there was a pita, very little cheese (I didn't have much left), and sliced turkey hot dogs. Seriously.

This got me to thinking (and seeking validation, of course).
As a sexy singleton, I often eat random, easy to make, odd things for dinner. They are often eaten as they are being cooked, standing over the sink or in front of the TV out of plastic Tupperware using my hands. Now, many of you are not sexy singleton's but you know you do this when your significant (or insignificant) other is not home.

So, let the sharing begin. I'll start.

• Canned tuna thrown in barilla plus pasta with random left over veggies thrown in.
• Cottage cheese and crackers
• Popcorn and wine (this has been sidelined with my new weight goal)
• Broccoli (for some reason I always have broccoli at home) and tuna (same with tuna)
• Junkyard salad - basically anything left in fridge (usually veggies, hard boiled eggs, etc.)

What say you?

Bringing Dirty Back

You know I love letting you guys in on all the dirt.
I've got a good one for ya, but I'm hoping this will inspire you to leave a comment with your own similar story so I don't feel like a total scumbag.

Sometimes, I do gross things.

Here's an actual IM describing my latest favorite gross thing to do.

POM: Dude, I can't wait 'til you see my hair tonight. It's flippin'
awesome and everyone at work keeps asking why I'm so fancy.

BFF: I'm scared.

POM: You should be.

BFF: Can't wait.

POM: OK, get this. I did Bikram last night, and didn't wash my hair
after.

BFF: Gross

POM: It gets better. Then I ran this morning. And still
didn't wash my hair.

And I came to work like this.
And everyone thinks it's fancy. Muahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

It's my new favorite thing. For some reason, sweat makes my hair nice and wavy and naturally beachy cute.

Side note: I did actually SHOWER, I just didn't wash the hair.

Please tell me you do gross things too - share with me people....

Welp, It's A Start

Albeit, a small one.

For my first Monday morning weigh-in I was expecting something amazing. Although, I have no idea why.

I started the weekend off with a nice HOT run after work, about 4 miles. Saturday I met a girlfriend for a 5 miler, including speed work (WOW do we need speed work). Side note: even with speedwork, the average pace was OVER 10 min/miles. Side side note: My pace last year was in the 8's. WT Hizzo?

Then it all went downhill. I babysat my nieces and their new little kitty Coco, where I ate hot dogs and french fries and pasta salad. Sunday I had dinner with a boy and drank wine. Not too much though, only 3 glasses :)

So this morning I weighed in at 144. That's 2 lbs down from last week. I ate really well all week and kept up with workouts. Just think if I actually held strong over the weekend?

I don't think I've announced it yet - but I'm going go Cabo over the 4th of July. BIKINI time people. So my goal is to get back to about 135 by then. 9 lbs to go. My work and personal schedule of the next couple weeks isn't crazy (not much travel, etc.) So I really can put all my focus and energy into getting healthy again.

I'm pretty excited about it.

It Only Works If you Work It

I think the world is divided up between two people: rule followers and rule breakers. I am definitely a rule follower.

This especially applies to yoga. If you've ever taken a Bikram class, you know there are some basic rules.

• No shoes/socks in the yoga room.
• No talking in the yoga room.
• Look at yourself - straight ahead (wonky eyes is my BIGGEST peeve in yoga).
• Don't drink water in middle of pose.
• Don't be wonky in the middle of a pose, especially balancing poses
• Try your best (remember it's called 'practice' for a reason)

There are more, but these are the ones that I can remember right now.

On to my story - this new chick walked in to yoga and by the way she signed in, I knew she was a rule breaker - and an annoying one at that. She had a very muscular physique, which she made sure everyone in the lobby knew it was because she surfed everyday. Whatever, that's fine. But she was definitely the type of girl that wants all eyes on her. By the way, she was not pretty in a conventional sense, but she was attractive, natural, a typical surfer type.

As class was beginning, the teacher introduced the new people. When she walked by surfer chick, the teacher made a comment about how fit she was. (The teacher is nice and very personable with everyone.) I should note that the owner of the studio was positioned behind me and the new girl was positioned to the side of her. Both were in my line of vision (without my eyes being wonky all over the room).

It was quite obvious that new girl was just not into yoga - like she thought it was too easy or she was too good for it. You could tell my her expressions, eye rolling, etc. I also noticed that she put about 20% energy into her poses. For example, one pose you are supposed to grab behind your heels - she had her hands barely below her knees and was looking around the room, instead of down.

Throughout class, the teacher observes everyone and checks. About half way through the class, she asked surfer chick how she was doing.

Surfer chick responded, "meh, I'm barely sweating."

(Please note: the class was super crowded which makes the room muy caliente mas. I am estimating it at about 110 degrees.)

The owner of the studio piped up and said, "work harder then."

I LOVED IT.

Lesson of the day: You get out of it what you put in!

Coming Clean

There are 2 things I am coming clean with today. I'm sure you'll be WAY more interested one over the other, so that one is going 2nd. MUAH!

Besides that small portion of time I had to get my ass into a size 4 bridesmaid dress, I have been on a serious backslide in regards to health & fitness. I mean serious.

I hadn't weighed myself in quite a long time. I put the scale in the guest bathroom so I wouldn't have to see it regularly. Well, last weekend I went to put on my comfortable (read: fat) jeans. They are worn in and oh so lovely. They were just out of the dryer and therefore a little snug. I did the deep knee bends that we all do to try and loosen them a bit. Well, you can image my shock when I hear "RRRRRRRRRRRRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP." There it was, clear as day, hole right across the booty and a sign that SOMETHING needs to change. (And these were not cheap jeans people!)

That's when I got reacquainted with the scale, aka ANITA. And she is pissed. That bitch told me I weighed 146. In the MORNING. (My happy/healthy weight is 134.) Obv I didn't need Anita to tell me I was out of control. I hardly workout except weekends and I have been drinking like a fish out of water (that didn't make sense but whateves). I can barely fit into ANY of my work clothes and have been wearing wrap dresses every chance I get. (Lord, I love wrap dresses!)

So there. It stops now because I have a new goal in sight. I'll tell you about it later. But I did Bikram last night and ran this morning. Cutting out the booze and cheap women. I will frequently post again - I promise. And I will update the weight sitch - maybe like a Monday Weigh In type of thing.

Part 2 - what all my loyal readers have been dying to hear about.
THE CAPTAIN

I'm coming clean - don't judge.
I got back with the captain last year. I didn't want to tell you all because I know that the decision was not a smart one. BUT sometimes the heart ain't smart. Well things were good (not great) for a while. There are so many issues that I won't go into here, but I was definitely kidding myself. I was making excuses for him, for me, for our relationship. It was fake. It was a front. It was not good. I faked happy, but I wasn't. And I knew it was going nowhere. Three years of my life now.

Well it all came to head again (yes, this is like the 5th time) about a month ago. But this time it's different and I will tell you why. Because I was the one feeling like it was over. I was the one who was finally sick of where we were and where we were NOT going. We didn't talk for a couple weeks (he is the type that needs space to gather his thoughts - there I go making excuses again). A couple weeks ago we finally had THE TALK. This time it was the CLOSURE talk. And the crazy thing is that I feel fine. I'm good with it. I will admit that was so busy traveling like crazy that I didn't have much time to really focus on the implications of it all. And I did have ONE little wah-wah-whoa-is-me-cry-baby breakdown. But just one. And I'm fine again.

And I'm movin' on up.
And getting my ass back in shape.
Starting weight: 146
Goal: 134

Running on Anxiety

Self-Sabotaging or Anxiety?

You tell me.

Remember when I used to wake up before work and run? Well I did.

I have been trying my best to get back into that cycle (although with my travel schedule it's been a challenge). But when I'm home, I PLAN on waking up early to run. Here is the routine:

• I drink lots of water, eat healthy dinner and go bed early
• I lay in bed and think of stupid things
• I start to worry that I won't fall asleep
• I don't fall asleep so I start to worry more about not getting enough rest
• Then I worry that I'm worrying and causing this whole thing (I must be crazy)
• My heart starts beating fast and I don't fall asleep
• I stare at the clock until 2am
• I drift off and have a nightmare
• Nightmare wakes me up at 3:30 am
• I lean over and turn off my alarm because there is no way of waking up to run in 2 hrs

This is not a rare occurrence. Neither is the nightmare thing, but that's a blog for another day.

Hence the reason I'm only running on the weekends. I don't stress about what time I fall asleep and I don't stress about when I need to wake up.

I really don't know what to do about it.

If The Dress Zips, Wear It

I did it!!!

I dieted

and sweated

and starved

and ran

my way into the dress.

The proof my friends>>>>>>>

Yes, it was snug especially in certain areas, but it fit. You can see actually that the straps are loose. I would have had to get it altered if I got the size up.

So anywhooooo, please don't do what I did.

Let this be a lesson to you all.

Bridesmaid-zilla

Nine days until the wedding (not MINE people!) and I'm turning into a crazed bridesmaid-zilla.

Here's what I'm obsessing about:

• Teeth bleachorexia - check
• Fake tan - check (hey the wedding is in Laguna and I just need tan legs, so shut it)
• Staying skinny - NOT check

I tried on the dress again last night and it is NOT good (Dr Dev don't read this). I look like a sausage that is busting out of its casing. The dress can zip, but there is some serious tightness especially in the tummy/boobage areas. (Boys don't read this) Let's just hope it's PMS and everything will settle down in 9 days.

When we got the dresses - MONTHS ago, I tried on the 4 and 6. And frankly the 4 fit better. I would have had to alter the straps in the 6. Who buys a dress and thinks "well maybe I'll put on 10 lbs so I better get the bigger size" - I know I sure didn't think that. But maybe I should have.

So this morning I woke up at 5:30am and went for a run. I forgot how dark it is with the time change. It's fine on the street, but half my run is on a path with no lights. It was touch a go there for a while. Seriously. I couldn't even see the ground at some points. I'm just grateful I didn't step in any doggie or horsey landmines. Oh yeah, and I'm grateful I didn't get run over by bike.

My 2nd plan of attack is to get as many Bikram classes in as humanly possible. Although I am traveling Mon-Thur so that isn't really an option. There is one day I will be able to run. Actually maybe 2. I have to make it happen.

The size 4 dilemma continues. I'm sure you are all thrilled.

(And by the way, I would be completely content with a 6, I just didn't buy the 6 so now I have to deal.)

So Far From Where I've Been

First off, I'm crackin up ovah here that I slipped in a comment about the Captain and everyone focused on the bed bugs. HAAAAAAAAAAA I guess I was smart that way.

Ok, on to running. I've mentioned before that I have become a weekend warrior with the running. I try to get about 6 or so 7 miles in on the weekend. So this Saturday, this lovely windy, brisk Saturday, I decided to bust out the ol' Garmin and go for 10 miles.

I know there is a race in my future - another marathon. Probably not until Fall... more details later. So with that in the back of my mind, I want to get my mileage back up and comfortable. My 10 was not so comfortable. Actually, I can only say that I ran 9. I walked the last mile home. But I was happy that nothing ached or hurt or anything like that - I was just plain ol' outta shape. My average time was 9:54 min/mile. That's 1:26 min/mile SLOWER than my 2008 marathon pace. hellllllllo?????????? How quickly one can LOSE IT!

But at least I know where I'm starting from.

Now I just need to get my butt on the scale to confirm the other damage I've done.
Stay tuned for that exciting post.

Catching Up: The Final Installment

Here are a few of the smaller things that have happened during my hiatus:

1. I bought a new car!!! Buh-bye 1996 Jetta. Hello Acura TSX. I feel so grown up.

2. I got bed bugs at the Sheraton in NYC. Seriously... I woke up with bites all over my legs. And I don't do well with bites, so they got huge, red and crusty. I couldn't show my legs for months. So hot. I wrote a nasty letter, they did and "investigation of the infestation" and let's just say I'm Platinum with SPG and then some.

3. I ended it with the Loadmaster. I sorta kinda started seeing a certian gentlemen of a nautical nature again. So yeah, long story. Same, old, long, stupid story.

So, there you have it. So much has changed, yet so much as stayed the same. Ok, really nothing has changed.

Weekend plans: 8 miler, Bikram and grocery shopping. This home girl is worse off than mother-freakin-hubbard.

Geeking Out

Hi all

Quick update - traveling mucho. That's about it. Although I actually managed to hit the treadmill for once. So a little pat on the back for that.

Any of you guys like to geek out once in a while? I know I do. One of my good friends, Dr. Mo started a science blog. Check it out if you want to geek out with her. She's pretty cool and damn smart. And she is forcing me into a size 4 dress in 2 weeks. (Kidding Doc)

Peace out.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Shirt

What a tease I've been. I said I would start blogging again, then I leave you hanging. My friends, I think it will be like this for a while. You see, I am actually really really busy.

Tuesday I flew to Miami, Thursday I flew to Oklahoma City, then back home Friday. Today I have a family party and Monday I fly to Houston.

But here is my tidbit of motivation for the weekend:

Something told me to put on my Portland marathon shirt for my run this morning. This is highly unusual because I abhor running in t-shirt style shirts even if they are "tech" whatever. Seriously, that shirt is from 2008 and this is the 2nd time I've worn it. And last time, it was just to bed.

But I put it on and hit the road. About .5 miles in, it started to sprinkle. I thought to myself "hey, if I can run 26.2 miles in the rain then I can do a my measly weekend run with some sprinkles." About a mile in it started pouring, but I kept running. I have to say that I almost starting thinking I was crazy but at mile 3 it stopped and it was so fresh and clear and wonderful that I was glad I didn't turn around.

Thank you Portland Marathon T-shirt.
7 miles done :)

Let's Talk About Running

Remember long ago when this was a running blog?

I figured the 2nd installation of "where have you been for the last 6 months" should be about running.

When we left off back in August I was training for my 3rd marathon. Remember, the one in Wisconsin? I use the word "training" lightly. I was half-assed training.

I was running about 3 days a week, with longer runs on the weekend. I only ran two 20-milers. They both kinda sucked. Needless to say, I wasn't planning on winning any awards in Wisconsin (not 'real' awards, but I mean 'yeah-me' awards).

My new job had me traveling like crazy before the marathon. The week before I was in Danbury, Tampa Bay, then Myrtle Beach. Then I flew directly to Madison, then to Chicago the day after. CaH-R-A-Zeeeee

Honestly though, the marathon wasn't actually that bad. I finished in 3:57. Not as good as Portland, but still under 4 hours. So I'll take it. There was definitely more blood, sweat and tears and ohhhhhhhhhh chub rub and lost toe nails.

Needless to say, after the marathon I fell off the running wagon. I was just sick of running. I can't even remember what I was doing, but based on my current weight I must have spent the past 6 months eating and drinking. I've never shied away from telling you guys my weight, so here it is. I'm back up to 142. (My happy weight is 132) All my work pants are in closet-lock-down since I can't button them. I'm wearing my "fat jeans" again. I even purchased new jeans that are 2 sizes bigger than my usual.

BUT as of last weekend - the running girl is back. I'm hoping the blog will keep motivated (and you too?) Last Saturday I went down to the beach and had the best 8 mile run I've had in a really long time. Then I went to Bikram. Sunday I went to Bikram again. Monday, I ran 4 miles and went to Bikram. I ran 4 miles this morning and think I can get back on the morning bandwagon.

Those fat jeans will be outta here soon!

Overwhelmed

I was laying in bed last night thinking how to attack the come back. I am going to have to piecemeal it I think.

The best place to start is to explain why I quit writing.

But I have to go back a little first. Back in August, I didn't really go into details about my job situation. Most of you knew I was a meeting planner and that I had a few trips (Canada and Maui) then BAM - no job. I knew it was coming. We had no business to speak of. Everyone had been laid off but me. So the day I returned from Maui, I was told that I had 2 weeks left and to start cleaning out the office. I immediately started looking for a new job(to be honest I was looking a little before). You read my horrible first interview. Apparently so did all the Asian Spam world.

So on my last day, I find out that my former company was also filing bankruptcy and low and behold, they were not going to be able to pay me for my last two events. Nice, huh? After 10+ years of working for them. I was pretty hurt by this, but mostly angry. But I don't want to speak any more of this.

But I freaked out.
I had a mortgage. I needed a plan and fast.

Luckily, it pays to have friends in high places. My girlfriend called me on my first day of being unemployed and said "I have a job interview for you. And I know they will hire you." I had an interview the next day and was offered the job by the end of the week.
Schwing!

BUT (there is always a big butt) I was worried my new job would find out about my blog. I didn't know their policy on the whole thing. I wasn't very good about being anonymous considering my pictures are all over the blog. AND I have a serious problem with putting my entire dating life drama on the freakin' Internet. To make matters more confusing my new job is involved in political and legal arenas. So there's that.

In my typical way of dealing with this, I didn't deal with it. I just climbed under my favorite rock, oh so comfy it is.

There it is. Stay tuned for more....

Baby Come Back

You can blame it all on me.
I was wrong
And I just can't live without you.

So what do you think, will you take me back?
If so, I will have to recap the past 6 months for you.

That will take a long time, so I need to know you're going to read it.
Pleeeeeeeeease stroke my ego with a comment and I will pay you back with a novel.